You woke up this morning
by Kiwikatipo
Summary: Faith and John Constantine, wake up severely hungover to find they accidentally got married in Las Vegas. Are they part of a sinister divine plan? Incest warning Chapter 10 onwards.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Woke up this Morning

AUTHOR: Kiwilass

SUMMARY: Response to Challenge 310 Woke Up In Vegas by Jinni of twisiting the hellmouth. Faith ends up in bed with John Constantine from the movie Constantine.

DISCLAIMER: The characters from BTVS and Angel belong to Joss Whedon the characters from Constantine the movie belong to Kevin Brodbin. The character of Constantine from the D.C. comic series belongs to Alan Moore.

Woke up this Morning

August 2005

Faith woke up in a strange hotel room with nicotine stains on the ceiling, the roof fan going round half heartedly.

She could hear the tinny sound of Kelly Clarkson's Addicted, and remembered Xander had programmed that as her ring tone last night, as a joke. It was her own cell phone ringing. Faith reached on her bedside table for it, knocking over an empty bottle of bourbon.

Holding the phone in front of her, she looked at who the incoming call was from, it was Xander.

Faith was becoming hideously aware of a man's arm flung over her waist, but she would deal with that in a second.

"Hey." She said croakily, feeling her body under the sheets. Yep she was naked, and she could feel the guy's morning erection poking into her backside.

"You okay? You weren't in your hotel room this morning." Xander's voice came concerned down the line.

"Fine Harris, meet you in the lobby at one o'clock okay?" Faith told him, pulling away from the man next to her. She recognised him from the night before.

"What time is it?" the man said, moving away carefully to the opposite side of the bed. His voice sounded raspy too.

"Um eight thirty." Faith put her hand to her head, to still the throbbing. "This your motel room?" What the hell was the guy's name?

"Yeah." The dark haired man informed her, reaching for a packet of cigarettes beside the bed. It was empty, he threw it away in disgust. He drank from a bottle of water he had by his bed. As he put it back, his eyes focused on a document lying on the bedside table, he snorted in disbelief.

"Hey Faith, your last name Woods nee Lehane?" he asked her, reading the piece of paper.

"Yeah," Said Faith, reaching across him for his water bottle, trying not to touch her left breast against his bare chest.

The guy had a good body, weird tattoos on his fore arms obviously mystical. She was certain he was a demon hunter, quite well known apparently. Xander had introduced them to each other last night. Faith could remember that much.

"You're John right?" Faith confirmed, pleased the name had come back to her. The guy had seemed handsome, for someone in his early forties in that demon bar last night. But he sure looked like hell this morning, from the neck up.

"Yeah, John Constantine, and according to this piece of piece of paper your husband." Constantine informed her calmly. "Viva Las Vegas."

"Oh Christ, we didn't!" Faith gasped in utter horror, snatching the paper from his hand. She read it disbelieving, not quite taking it in.

"It's like I'm a supernatural Brittany Spears." She whispered appalled to herself.

John took her left hand and examined it. She noticed the nicotine stains like her own on his right hand fingers. There was a gold band glinting, on the spot that had been occupied by a platinum ring for eighteen months.

"That is a very cheap ring. Probably turn your finger green." He added. He removed her ring and then his own, dropping them in the trash can where he'd put the empty cigarette packet. "You're human right?"

"Yeah, I'm a slayer." Faith understood where the guy was coming from with that remark, one night stands in Demon bars were pretty risky. Faith got out of bed and started pulling on her clothes.

Faith decided to share her anguish. "I can't believe I got frickin married again, my divorce only came through this frickin' month. That's why I was in that dive last night. I was celebrating my divorce papers catching up with me yesterday."

"Celebrating or drowning your sorrows?" John asked. sitting up in bed and watching her dress. He admired her body, noticing her tattoo in the daylight. He realised she wasn't going to comment on his last remark.

"Do you want to get coffee?" he suggested.

"Yeah, I guess, we have to discuss a frickin annulment may as well do it over breakfast." Faith pulled on her boots. "Goddamnit." She said in frustration. "Why would we do that, get hitched and all?"

"I remember making love with you, in a back room at the bar." John told her. "Do you remember that?"

Faith shook her head. "Don't mean to put a dampener on your prowess Constantine, but it's a total black out for me from ten o'clock onwards." This was such a fucking set back for her. One night stands with guys she met in bars, she thought she'd got past that. What the hell kind of friend was Harris anyways, leaving her drunk in a bar full of demons and angels?

Faith looked at John slightly embarrassed, buttoning up the back of her red satin dress. "I'm sure I was great." She joked.

John snorted. "If you say so. I'm blacked out from twelve onwards." John worked out, "Though I think I remember us both throwing up in the bathroom, when we came in the door."

Faith shook her head. "Can't even remember that. Though my mouth tastes like I did." She checked her hand bag for her cigarettes. "Oh Fuck! My passport, English drivers licence and divorce decree are all missing."

John lent over the bed, to look in his own wallet in his trousers on the floor. "So's my drivers licence and passport, shit."

"Oh fuck, this is way bad I'm meant to be flying back to London tonight." Faith looked furious at herself and the world. "I travel on an Irish passport." The nearest Irish consulates were in Reno or San Francisco, which was closer?

"We must have used the documents to get married." John reasoned, he looked at their marriage licence again. "We got married at the (oh god) Klingon Space Chapel."

"Okay, now that's the silver lining to getting my passport lost, what would make me scream out loud about yesterday I don't care about now." Faith said lighting up. She tossed him her packet there was one left.

John lit up the cigarette, impressed she'd given him her last one and looked at their marriage licence. "The chapel is in the strip down the road, from the demon bar we met in." he looked at a complimentary tourist book the hotel provided. "It opens again at ten apparently so we have time to get there. To also buy pain killers."

"Sounds good." Faith approved, "We can find out how to annul this marriage."

"But it's going so well." John quipped. "I better get some nicotine gum. I've really fallen off the wagon this month."

"I can go with out smoking for a couple of days, but when I get drinking…"Faith smiled at him.

The two addicts looked at each other understandingly.

"Tell me about it." John said. He got out of bed and pulled on his boxers. "I'm just having a shower. Hey honey, could you make coffee?" he said it in a fifties sitcom tone way and Faith laughed.

The guy seemed pretty decent, Faith reflected she put the jug on and made instant coffee. He was quiet and she liked that.

When John came out of the bathroom she went in and freshened up. At least she always carried a toothbrush and deodorant in her handbag. Faith travelled so much, she didn't like to be caught out.

Dear god she looked gruesome, mascara all over her face, lipstick smeared and stained round her mouth. Did Constantine have moisturiser? She went through his toilet bag.

Faith looked at Constantine's toiletries with interest, this guy travelled as much as she did, judging from the hygiene and grooming products from all parts of the world.

Faith went out to the main room, happy to know she wasn't looking like a panda anymore. This experience could have been worse, at least the guy wasn't trying anything on.

The man was starting to look tiredly handsome again as he drank his coffee. Faith looked carefully at their marriage licence again.

"John you were born in '64, seriously dude I thought the age gap of me and my first husband was bad, but ten years seems nothing now." Faith chuckled in disbelief.

John looked at her wearily. "You're so enthusiastic, I figured you were under twenty five when I met you."

Faith looked at him provocatively. "And you still had sex with me, you are a bad, bad man."

"Come on child bride," Said John amused, putting his coffee cup down, "Let's go find a drug store."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two By half past ten your head was going ding-dong**

Faith and John stared at the burnt out ruins of the Klingon Space chapel. They were both shocked and both secretly wondering, if they had caused it in some way.

The accidental newlyweds picked their way to where people who were obviously the owners, were sifting through the rubble with insurance officers and fire inspectors.

"Excuse me." Faith said. "But my um, husband here and I got married here last night, and we think we left our passports behind."

The middle aged man looked at her tiredly. "Oh yeah, I recognise you, nice dress. Sorry we put them in a locked drawer, figured you'd be back this morning and now everything's burnt to ash."

'That's unusual." Constantine commented easily.

"Yeah, it was arson." The man said looking distraught. "Nothing is left, nothing."

"Sorry man." Faith said sympathetically.

She and John walked off. As soon as they were out of earshot Faith turned to John.

"I'm fucked." She stated in annoyance. "There is no way I'm gonna make that flight."

"How long will it take you to get a replacement passport?" John asked.

"That's it, I won't." Faith explained. "I'll get emergency travelling papers and that will only get me back to Ireland, where I'll have to apply there for a new passport."

"Aren't you an American citizen?" John asked her concerned, something unpleasant occurring to him.

"No I'm an Irish citizen." Faith explained. "For a coupla reasons I don't have American citizenship."

Faith didn't think her full pardon for murder, the Watchers Council of Great Britain had swung for her, conditional on renouncing her American citizenship and never entering the state of California again was Constantine's business. Faith's maternal grandparents had been born in Ireland, thus her Irish citizenship after a few phone calls to the right people.

"This might make getting a divorce take longer than I first thought." John pointed out. "You're an Irish citizen, who lives in the United Kingdom right?"

"Yeah, sorry Constantine were you engaged to someone else?" Faith asked sceptically. "Or is it how much this is going to cost us? Because that's starting to worry me."

"Me too. No offence Faith, but you're turning out to be one costly fuck." John told her in a monotone.

"Well at least you remember it." Faith retorted. Her eyes narrowed as a horrible thought struck her "Hey did you have screw me, when I was passed out back at the hotel as well?"

"I hope not." John said sincerely, "Necrophilia is not one of my personal vices."

Faith believed him, she had never before met anyone she had liked so much instantly or found so attractive, in spite of the age difference.

They walked along the street in companionable silence again. John was wishing this whole mess had never happened. Yet he was appreciative of how non dramatic, Faith was being about the affair.

Faith paused in front of a Flag Inn. "Well here's my hotel. I need to ring up the consulate in Reno, I'll ask him how to get a divorce from Ireland for here as well. Do you want to come up too and hear it first hand?"

John nodded, ''How long did your previous divorce take, in Ireland?"

Faith looked pained. "I had what is called grounds for Divorce in England, where my ex-husband an American, was living as a permanent resident as well. It took eight months, from filing to the decree absolute to the end of my thirteen month marriage."

"Did you get married in a church?" John asked her as they walked through the lobby.

"Registry Office, and I can't believe that Chapel gave a religious ceremony, to two drunken people." Faith commented. "That's majorly low, no wonder it frickin burnt to the ground."

"So in the eyes of God, I'm married." Muttered John to himself. "Shit."

"Look, we must be able to get this mess annulled." Faith assured him in the elevator.

John touched the gold crucifix round her neck. "Are you a good Catholic girl?" he asked expressionlessly, touching his fingers on her bare neck.

"I used to be," Faith told him. She put her hand over his. "Going for Annulment remember?"

John dropped his hand apologetically. He wanted to kiss her, fuck her till she screamed. Last night was coming back to him more and more, and she had been amazing.

The elevator doors opened and a young man and woman waited, sitting in the armchairs in the corridor.

"Harris." Said Faith surprised.

John raised his eyebrows at the attractive young woman, sitting next to Xander. "Hello Ellie, long time no see."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 But you're looking good, baby, I believe that you're feeling fine

Ellie smiled insincerely at John. "Hello John, interfered with any sprinkler systems lately?"

"See you've healed nicely." Constantine commented, looking at what appeared to be an attractive young woman up and down.

Faith scrutinised Ellie, with the gaze of an experienced slayer. She immediately noticed Ellie's forked tail.

"Harris did you leave me alone, in a bar full of the tailed and winged, so you could fuck a skanky demon again?" Faith burst out crossly. She unlocked her hotel room door.

"How rude," Laughed Ellie lightly, stepping inside Faith's room. John knew she was pissed. He could read Ellie reasonably well, he'd slept with her on and off, for over fifteen years after all. Only Ellie's hair styles changed each year ,otherwise she still looked the same from when he had first met her, in New York in 1989.

"You're a slayer aren't you?" Ellie smirked at Faith. "What was that bar to you? Besides Constantine was taking good care of you when we left, wasn't he Xander?"

Xander looked uncomfortable, he hadn't felt that good leaving Faith having sex with Constantine, in a back room at the bar, but it had seemed a sensible idea at the time somehow.

"Whispered in your ear did she?" John smiled ruthlessly. "Ah Ellie, Ellie, and I don't even need an exorcism book to send you back to Hell."

"Hey!" said Xander quickly. "No one is sending anyone back to Hell. Ellie and I have been seeing each other in Cleveland and she's going to move in with me, when we come back from England."

"Right," said Faith sarcastically, "because minions from Hell are always a good choice to bring to a Watchers Council meeting.'

"I was going to go clothes shopping." Ellie said defensively. "London has so many delightful fashion boutiques; I see you haven't discovered them yet."

"You said you can do a bookless exorcism?" Faith said turning to Constantine. "Watch me send her back to Hell, with a twenty second beheading."

Constantine smiled at Faith, the slayer had a similar sense of humour to him. "Well you don't want sulphur on your hotel room carpet before you've checked out."

"Are you ready to go Faith?" Xander inquired. "It looks like you haven't even packed.

Ellie looked like she was dying to say something, but contented herself looking from Constantine and Faith backwards and forwards, in a significant manner.

"Well there's no rush for me anymore Xander, because my passport has been burnt to ash." Faith explained. "If you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make. Come join me John?"

Faith went into her bedroom and gave Constantine a pen and paper. "Can you write down what I repeat, so we can work out prices and stuff for arranging a divorce?"

Constantine nodded, sitting on the bed beside her. He looked at her red silk robe with a green dragon embroidered on the back, flung over a chair and wondered if all her clothing was overtly sexual.

He copied down the prices and legal advice for them, feeling her body heat as he sat beside her.

They were looking at a thousand dollars between them for arranging a divorce, five hundred dollars each! God, this really was the most expensive fuck of his life.

It would be easier if Constantine fronted up in Reno with her too apparently. He nodded "I'll drive us." He mouthed to her.

Faith hung up the phone and flung herself back on the bed. She put her hands over her eyes "Five hundred dollars! I could have stayed in last night and watched American Idol. I almost did. Getting married to you was a small price to pay to escape that horror."

Constantine gazed down at her admiring her spirit, she had never once turned on him or blamed him for anything. "We can both drive to Reno now, it's a nine hour journey." He offered to her. "You can sleep in the back and drive the rest of the way, half way through."

"And we'll be in Reno Monday morning, at the consulates office." Faith said. "Great idea Constantine." 

Constantine joined Xander and Ellie in the main room, as Faith got showered and changed.

He explained he and Faith were going to Reno, to fix up her travel documents.

"How gallant John." Ellie sniped at him. "I suppose you feel fatherly towards her."

Constantine pulled out a stick of nicotine gum. "How's the thousand year age difference working out between you two?" he answered.

Xander held Ellie's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "What is that really, when you love someone?"

Constantine tried not to choke on his gum at the combination of Harris's naiveté and Faith's outfit, as she stepped out of her bedroom. A black mini dress with a white collar? Her Catholic guilt must be working overtime, even her tattoo was covered by short sleeves with white cuffs.

Faith towelled her hair dry. "Don't get married to her Xander here, please." she begged. "Learn from my mistake man. Constantine and I have to get an expensive divorce now because we got married drunk last night, at a tacky chapel."

Ellie's tail slithered out and her eyes gleamed yellow for a second. She couldn't help feeling pleasure in Constantine's misfortune, even though she loved him a little and always would. "A chapel? Why Constantine, how delightful."

"Leave it Ellie." Constantine warned her. Yeah a chapel, a religious service, he was married to Faith in the eyes of his god. He would have to stay celibate, till the annulment came through and hopefully that would be enough, to prevent Constantine going to Hell again. Hopefully.

"Did you get photos?" Xander asked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 I was born under a bad sign With a blue moon in my eyes So help me now**

Faith lay in the back seat sleeping. Constantine looked at her bare legs in the rear mirror occasionally, trying to analyse if he was turning into a pervert. Fortunately for his fellow drivers, his eyes remained fixed on the Nevada highway the majority of the journey.

After four hours, he pulled into a road side diner and leaned over to shake Faith awake gently. The twenty-four year old opened her eyes and stretched languorously.

"I'm relieved you didn't go for my throat." John told her.

"I'm a slayer, not a combat veteran." Faith laughed up at him. She felt totally refreshed, hangovers normally never affected her as badly as she had been this morning. "Where are we?"

"Small town, it's still daylight so..." John leaned over, unable to help himself and brushed her brown hair back from her face.

Faith smiled at him warmly and sat up. "Yeah, don't want our meal interrupted by Vamps." Faith agreed, getting out of the car. "It's like the longer you've been in the biz, you can't go down to a corner store for milk, without being involved in a mystical experience."

"Yeah," John agreed, they walked into the diner and he held the door open for her without thinking. He caught himself. Since when had he ever been a gentleman?

The sat and ordered an early dinner. Faith raised her eyebrow at Constantine's choice.

"Full of antioxidants." Constantine said spearing his green salad. "You should try it, instead of that hamburger."

"It has lettuce." Faith protested, with her mouth full.

"Do you know you look fifteen, in that outfit?" John asked her curiously.

Faith swallowed her mouthful, "So? As long as you don't put your hand on my knee, people will just assume you're getting your bimonthly Sunday visitation rights."

"You're so entertaining. When you retire from slaying, will you do stand up?" Constantine smiled at her.

Faith smirked back at him. "Why are you a demon hunter? I bet it's depressing."

"The usual when I was a kid, I saw things I wasn't supposed to, ghosts, demons the usual like I said. My parents sent me to a doctor, a shrink, a priest. I was in four different institutions, by the time was eighteen."

Faith noticed he was rubbing his wrist.

"The last place they put me was run by a church...The priest running the joint made the brilliant deduction that I was possessed, said I needed to be exorcised... It was like someone trying to pull teeth that weren't there. So I cut my wrists."

"You tried to kill yourself, Constantine that's so sad man." Faith said sympathetically, for the desperate teenager he must have been.

"I never just try, I succeed, but modern medicine brought me back from the dead." John pulled out his nicotine gum. "Officially" He went on. "But believe me, two minutes in Hell is a lifetime."

"I've heard that said." Faith nodded in complete comprehension.

John hated telling this story normally, and it was a refreshing change to talk to a woman who understood what the literal hell he was talking about "When I returned, I didn't just see demons anymore, I could do the one thing they couldn't easily ... come and go as I please." John explained.

"You can travel in and out of hell dimensions." Faith said approvingly. "Wicked, Constantine, ever been to Pylea? I have a demon friend there."

"If you'd told me, we could have gone there for our honeymoon." Constantine deadpanned.

"So worried, you're headed there again, when you die huh?" Faith probed. "Seeing as how you committed a mortal sin and all?"

Constantine shook his head. "I saved the world from an apocalypse, and got a second chance.'

"Oh my god, me too!" Faith said in an astonished delighted voice. "Shit Constantine, me and you have just so much in common."

"So what was your mortal sin?" Constantine asked surprised. Jesus the girl was enthusiastic about everything, even going to Hell.

"When I was eighteen, I bore false witness against a friend, about a murder I committed." Faith mumbled ashamed. "Great first date conversation, huh?"

Faith and Constantine's dark eyes stared into each others. Constantine felt like he was seeing a female version of himself.

"First date? What you want me to pay for dinner?" Constantine said lightly, taking out his wallet. "Sure kid, want anything else?"

"No, I'm fine thanks." Faith said. She got up and went to the rest room. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered who she really was now. How good was she? How tenuous her grip on heaven?

John fell asleep in the back seat of the car as Faith drove. She changed the CD in the player, she was liking his taste in music. She was liking everything about him.

They made Reno at ten thirty and checked into a motel with neighbouring rooms. Faith went straight to sleep exhausted.

Faith woke up at four in the morning and after lying sleepless, pondering her second divorce before she turned twenty five, went out for a cigarette.

John was there on the patio by the pool, also smoking. Faith came over and joined him. "Gum not working?" she commented.

"I found a packet in my jacket. Ellie probably put it there." John lit Faith's cigarette with his rune in-scripted lighter. "Couldn't sleep either huh?"

"I'm just hoping we get an annulment." Faith said seriously. She didn't want another divorce.

"Yeah me too," Constantine said dryly. "What were the grounds for your last divorce?"

"Unreasonable behaviour," Faith said inhaling. "My husband tried to kill me."

"That sounds like grounds to me." Constantine said startled.

"He over reacted." Faith said angrily. "He got bitten by a werewolf, turned into one, tried to eat me. In our line of work, these things happen right?"

Constantine nodded understandingly, wanting to put his arms round her and never let her go.

"We could have worked through it, but for my safety he insisted on a divorce." Faith said hurt. "He's in Paris now, got a new canine girlfriend apparently. I'm sure she'll come first in Crufts." She looked at Constantine with tears in her eyes. Every nerve in her body was screaming to be touched by the man in front of her. "I suppose it's cheating, if you and I have sex again huh?"

"Definitely." said Constantine flicking his cigarette butt away, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. Constantine had been wanting kiss her again, ever since they got into the car together. He couldn't stand seeing her with tears in her eyes. He wanted to make everything better for her. He wanted to push her down on the ground and take her right there.

Everything seemed simultaneous with both of them that night. Their mouths opening, their heart beats speeding up, their gasps and sighs. Constantine thought he was going to go insane with his need to be inside her.

"Come on." he commanded harshly, taking her by the hand. They walked intertwined, back across the motel courtyard, stopping to kiss frequently. They sat on the bumper of a car and Faith ripped off his t-shirt with slayer strength, sucking on his chest with the youthful enthusiasm he found so attractive about her. Not being able to stand it any more, he picked her up at his hotel door and carried her across the threshold of his motel unit.

Constantine walked across to the rumpled double bed, and laid her down carefully in the middle. He wanted to protect her and hurt her at the same time. Hurt her for making him feel uncontrolled like this. Faith pulled him down on top of her.  
He held himself up with one hand and pulled her robe fully apart, so she lay naked beneath him. It was like unwrapping the best Christmas present of his life. As the robe slid off her, John felt both her breasts press against his bare chest. Her hands moved confidently to the top of his jeans, and helped him unbutton, unzip and remove them. The girl was an expert, but he knew even she had never experienced the magnetism that existed between them as a couple.

Constantine crawled back on the bed and kissed her again. He paused to look at her admiringly in the dim light. Faith could tell he liked what he saw, he smiled at her carnally. Even if she had been only seventeen he couldn't have stopped himself. They knew instinctively what the other was feeling and wanted to do next. Constantine smiled to himself. He wanted her to be screaming before he had finished with her.

She tasted like honey to him, she tasted like Faith.

Faith clutched her fingers desperately through his dark straight hair, as she came closer and closer to her orgasm.

They began moving against each other, in a long continuous delicious hot rhythm. Faith began moaning loudly again, making Constantine move against her even harder

She came with a scream, as he sucked and bit gently on her neck and shoulder.

Constantine knew it could only have ended with her screaming. Constantine felt her contract around him hard, causing him to shoot into her, only the thin barrier of latex between them, biting her shoulder hard, revelling in the feeling of her nails cutting into his back.

He lay on top of her, clutching her fiercely, trying to catch his breath. Her arms wrapped around him strongly, as she waited for her own breathing to return to normal. They lay there for a while, sweaty and happy, until they had enough energy to pull apart from each other. Constantine kissed her on the cheek affectionately and put his hand on her waist.

"That's going to be several Hail Mary's" he joked. Christ, he didn't want to say good bye to this girl.

Faith snorted in amusement. "It was pretty good. Normally I go on top." She informed him smirking, stroking his chest.

"You did last night at the bar." Constantine said. "I was sitting in a chair, it's a shame you can't remember it." He kissed her long and slowly.

"You'll have to keep that memory, for both of us Constantine." Faith said, when he released her.

She cuddled up to him and he put his arms around her. Not even with Robin, had she felt such an immediate trust and affection for a man before.

"When did you become a slayer?" Constantine said to her curiously. He wanted to know everything about her and nothing at the same time. If he didn't know her, it was going to be easier to part.

"May 12 1997 I was sixteen." Faith said nostalgically. "Vampire tried to kill me, and I dusted his undead ass." She leaned up and grabbed his cigarettes and Zippo lighter.

"So what's the deal with your lighter?" Faith said, flicking down the catch, and lighting her cigarette.

"Just protective runes," John said taking the cigarette from her and inhaling, "A present from an old girlfriend. I haven't had it with me for a while. Believe it or not, an angel gave it back to me in the bar last night."

"Old girlfriend not ex? Is she dead?" Faith asked him. She supposed he must have had a lot of lovers. He had the moves. He didn't seem a lady killer though, he was too quiet.

"Yeah, the fate of three of my girlfriends," Constantine kissed her head lovingly. "I don't know how wives work out." He took the cigarette out of her hand and began kissing her again.

"Ready to go again at what Forty-one? I'm impressed Constantine." Faith told him between kisses, as he stroked her between her legs.

"Blame it on our honeymoon magic." Constantine whispered in her ear. He didn't know what the hell was happening between them, but it scared the crap out of him.

AN: there was more to that sex scene but I am conscious that this board is M only. Naturally they used a condom because safe sex is very important.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 Last night I was flying but today I'm so low**  
_  
AN: The Rose of Tralee is an international Irish Beauty contest for girls of Irish heritage.  
_  
Faith woke up at seven thirty am to Constantine's cell alarm. She was amused to see his ring tone was set to 'Woke Up This Morning' from 'the Sopranos'.

John tightened his arm around her instinctively, as Faith detached herself, grabbed her robe and went into her own motel room.

Constantine knocked on Faith's door half an hour later. Ready to take her to breakfast. His eyes bulged at the 'Rose of Tralee' standing before him.

Today Faith was wearing a white mini dress with a Celtic border, and her hair was tied back in a pony tail. Her crucifix was a Celtic cross and hung over her dress. Faith looked ready to dance a jig to a number from Riverdance, at a click of the fingers.

"You're missing the Miss Dublin sash." John told her. He was freshly shaved, and in a white shirt and tie.

"You look like you've been sent from the funeral parlour." Faith shot back.

Breakfast for Constantine was an orange juice and black coffee, the same as Faith. They read the paper together in companionable silence.

Faith paid for breakfast and they went to the Irish Consul.

The Irish consul was a stuffy officious man who did not seem inclined to make their divorce or annulment easy. At least he got Faith's travel documents ready for her promptly.

Faith and Constantine walked out into the sun, both reaching for their cigarette packets.

"Asshole" said Constantine annoyed, at the officious dick. "He wants us to go through maximum inconvenience and money, to get divorced."

"Maybe he's got connections with Wolfram and Hart." Faith joked lighting his cigarette and touching his face with her fingers.

"Look I was going to the Netherlands tomorrow night anyway. Can I visit you in London after, tie up any loose ends?" Constantine asked her putting his arm round her waist, and pulling her firmly into him. He just couldn't stop himself, he found her completely adorable.

"That would be great." Faith said pleased, cuddling into him "Better than talking over the phone."

"I thought so. At least the shithead let you book your flights on his computer. Let's go to the airport." Constantine suggested as he exhaled slowly.

Constantine asked Faith about the work she did for the Watchers Council, on the way to the airport. When they arrived, he helped her get her bag out of the car. An amusing courtesy as Faith was twice as strong as him. She travelled light like Constantine he noticed, only one suitcase and a large carry on bag.

"Well goodbye I guess." Faith said to him regretfully, she raised her head to kiss him goodbye on the cheek and was surprised at Constantine's savage goodbye kiss on her mouth as if he wanted to devour her.

"Don't let the bureaucrats grind you down in Dublin Faith." Constantine told her pushing her away from him abruptly. He hated to see her go. "I'll see you next week."

"That'll be good John." Faith waved good bye to him and walked away feeling grey inside, while the rest of the hot summer day seemed to hold such promise for everyone else.

She sat in the airport lounge dismally and sent a text to Xander. 'U suck X. Faith.' Even that didn't cheer her up.

Ireland was a pain in the ass affair with officialdom and she finally arrived back in London on Saturday morning. She queued in the Heathrow airport E.U. passport holders' line bored, weighed down by duty free cigarettes and booze.

Faith noticed a blonde head bob up and down as if to see what was happening in the North American passport holders' line. It was Buffy.

"B!" called Faith.

Buffy turned round delighted. "Faith!" she waved in pleasure at the sight her former enemy.

Faith cleared the Immigration counter first and waited for Buffy on the other side. The two women hugged excitedly. They had not seen each other for three months.

"The meeting got postponed till tomorrow, you heard?" Buffy said quickly grabbing her numerous bags off the carousel.

"Yeah, Slayer strength really works out for you at times doesn't it B?" Faith said amazed. Watching impressed, as her petite friend successfully juggled her luggage. "How many suitcases are clothes, and how many weapons?"

"Three of each" Buffy said chirpily.

Faith could tell Buffy was worried about something. There was a certain set to Buffy's mouth.

The girls had to queue in the customs line with their bags "Can you tell me something Faith?" Buffy asked Faith, getting out her passport again. "These incredible rumours are going round the demon world at the moment." Buffy went on. "Apparently, John Constantine (the American Constantine), got hitched in some Vegas wedding last week. An angel, demon or a slayer, no one's sure who this girl is. She's only eighteen apparently brunette and not that pretty."

"Oh, that's right. You work with Constantine sometimes in Rome." Faith remembered, grabbing her one case.

Buffy piled her bags in front of the customs officer. "Quite a few times now, in the past two years."

The customs officer looked alarmed at the weapons, Buffy was bringing in from Italy and it took half an hour to sort out.

"What do you think of Constantine?" Faith asked casually, once they were outside the airport.

"Total hottie on the outside, and then the cruel bastard opens his mouth and says something incredibly rude!" Buffy hailed them a black London cab. "He's old of course. He must be what, mid forties? Anyhoo you meet him in Las Vegas last week?'

"Oh yeah, seemed nice enough guy." Faith said vaguely, getting in the back seat of the cab.

"Well did you see him with a plain looking, yet slutty brunette teenager?" Buffy asked interested, joining her in the back seat.

"Honestly no." Faith said trying not to choke. 'Plain looking?' "Why didn't you ask Xander?"

"It was his new girlfriend that told me the rumour. It was at a party in my apartment in Rome last night." Buffy made a face remembering Ellie. Ellie was bad news. "Constantine was there you see, without the mysterious new wife."

"And did he try and pick anyone up?" Faith asked interested, pretending to check she had English pound notes in her billfold.

"No, he spoke to Andrew all night, asking questions about werewolves." Buffy said disgusted. Andrew and his stories, he'd never change. "Some older women threw themselves at him of course, Constantine's quite the catch. Ha, look at me I'm gossiping."

"Churned up about Xander's girlfriend?" Faith said knowingly. So that was what Buffy was really het up about. "She's a bitch alright."

"She's a demon bitch from hell." Buffy said worried.

Their London cab driver turned round and glared at them disapprovingly. "You Yankee girls are so bloody catty, talking about a bloke's girlfriend like that."

Faith and Buffy collapsed into giggles.

Faith came home to the flat she had in the Watchers Council building. An ex Benedictine Abbey built during Tudor times. Her cat (a domestic legacy from living with Robin) saw her. The feline turned his back on Faith in disgust.

"Don't guilt trip me cat." Faith smiled down at her pet, unlocking her flat door. "Rona told me you slept on her bed, every night I've been away."

One of the custodial staff came up to Faith carrying some flowers, "Mrs Woods you had these arrive for you."

Faith took the bouquet of red tulips in surprise. "Who are these from?"

The custodian shrugged. "Me Mam was a florist, always said red tulips meant a declaration of love."

Faith tore open the card and read the message. "Deported a Demon back to hell in Amsterdam two days ago, that reminded me of you. I'm in London tomorrow morning. John Constantine."

"Why Mrs Woods, you're blushing." The kindly custodian smiled at Faith amused. So Mrs Woods was seeing someone again? Poor young lass, deserved a bit of happiness after what had happened with Mr Woods.

Faith went patrolling that night with some young slayers, and dusted vampires with frenzy.

"Faith leave some of the undead, for the girls." Giles chided her gently, "Something on your mind?"

Faith sat on a tombstone with him. "Do you know John Constantine?"

"I know both of the bastards which one do you mean?" Giles asked her, bumming one of her cigarettes. He had redeveloped bad habits the past year when his relationship with Olivia didn't work out again.

"The LA one," Faith clarified, lighting a cigarette herself.

"Watch your back Yoko!" She called out encouragingly to the fifteen year old from Osaka.

Giles frowned. Faith knew the girl didn't speak English "Hiyake-dome wa arimasu," he yelled to her. Yoko looked puzzled. "My Japanese is frightful, why we couldn't have an ancient Sumerian slayer…"

Faith laughed and lit Giles cigarette. "So why do you think he's a bastard?"

"Arrogant, ruthless, reckless at times" Giles snorted. "I last ran into him fifteen years ago and I haven't heard he's changed."

"Is he a player, a ladies man?" Faith asked her friend. It had been hard-earned the right to call Giles her friend.

"None of the Constantines' in the business are, but they all have completely disastrous love lives. Whole family must be cursed I'd suspect. In any case I heard the idiot got married to a sixteen year old prostitute in Arizona last week." Giles smiled ruefully "Must be having a midlife crisis."

Giles threw a stake to a young blonde girl, who had hers knocked out of her hand. "Eile mit Weile Gretchen" he yelled encouragingly. Giles was good at German.

"Why do you want to know?" Giles said to her.

"I met him in Vegas," Faith mentioned. "He seemed interesting."

"So are car accidents." Giles observed shrewdly. "Stay well away from him, would be my advice."


	6. Chapter 6

You've got to burn to shine 

The phone rang when Faith was in the shower that morning. Faith ran to answer it dripping wet, jumping over her cat. It was Constantine, saying he was at Gatwick Airport and would she like to meet him for lunch?

"Yeah," Faith said trying to breathe normally. God, she was so excited at the thought of seeing him again. "I'll meet you in your hotel at twelve."

Faith arrived at Constantine's seedy hotel in Islington at twelve fifteen. She wasn't even slightly surprised to see a Demon coming out of it. She entered the hotels gloom and saw Constantine waiting in the lobby for her. She saw he was wearing his normal white shirt and tie with the sleeves rolled up in the heat.

Constantine noticed she had on a black linen suit and her Celtic cross. Her hair was in a bun and she was looking very mature today. He wondered if she was trying to lessen the age gap between them or if this was her 'divorce suit'.

They walked slowly towards each other, unable to stop grinning like fools, such was their joy in seeing one another again. As soon as she was in range Constantine grabbed her to him, like a wild animal kissing her. Their mouths tasted of toothpaste, both having been nervous on re-meeting the other. Faith wound her arms round his neck and let the kiss go on and on.

It wasn't just her that had been feeling like this, she realised with relief. Constantine had wanted to see her again, as much as she had wanted to see him. Faith had never felt this obsessed before about a man, not even Robin.

"Slayer?" a surprised voice behind her said. Faith turned and saw it was Vernon a gay vampire who worked as a prostitute and hence avoided dusting.

"Twenty pounds and you never saw me." Faith offered, sliding reluctantly out of Constantine's arms.

"Sorry Slayer, but we denizens of the Underworld all know Constantine got married recently, and to know it's to you, well that information is worth more than that." Vernon wheedled.

Constantine whipped a cross out of his pocket, and held it to Vernon's cheek. Vernon yelped and showed his vampire visage.

"Take my wife's bribe and fuck off." Constantine told him, pissed off to be interrupted from kissing one of the most fascinating girl's he had ever met, and then be blackmailed. "Or I'll throw you out into the midday sun now."

"You'll be back with us Constantine." Vernon smiled looking like a human again with a burn. "And when that happens..."

"Yeah, you can shove your pitchfork up my ass then." Constantine said wearily. "Just take the money."

Vernon slunk off clutching Faith's twenty pounds.

"Well that was a mood killer." Constantine told her, he tried to get a hold of himself. "I need lunch, I'm starving."

"I know a good Indian place round the corner." Faith told him. They walked out into the street and blinked in the sun. Constantine put his arm round her shoulder and they walked to the curry house.

Constantine told her about the demon he'd taken out in Amsterdam, over lunch and how the Vatican had commissioned and paid him to do it.

"Yeah, heard you were in Rome on Friday," Faith informed him playing with her rice. "Never believe half of what Andrew says."

"He said you used to wear tank tops and jeans all the time." Constantine said staring questioningly, into her brown eyes that were the same shade as his. Constantine had pumped Andrew subtly for hours, about information on Faith. "When you hooked up with Woods, you went all Boho (whatever the hell that is) and now you keep changing your look every day."

"And Andrew keeps telling us all he's not gay." Faith scoffed. She didn't know if to be pleased or annoyed, Constantine had been curious about her. Pleased, she guessed. "I dress for the weather and fighting is all. I used to wear the same thing every day like you, but I decided it was boring."

"Practical, easy," Constantine corrected her smiling. "You done eating?"

They walked hand in hand to a nearby pub, and Constantine took her into a corner booth with their drinks.

"Right, our annulment," Constantine began, fondling his beer glass distractedly. "I don't want to do it."

"What's the alternative Constantine?" Faith said puzzled. She stubbed out her cigarette. She laughed disbelievingly, and tried to make her next sentence sound like a joke. "Stay married and make a go of it?"

"Yeah, because I have never felt so strongly for a woman before, as I do with you." Constantine said honestly.

Now his cards were laid on the table like this, Constantine was sure Faith would fairly accuse him of being insane. The twenty-four year old would walk out of the pub and out of his life in disgust with him. That would be good, it would be the best thing for both of them. Even though he knew for some strange reason, it was going to hurt him worse, than a knife in the guts.

Faith stared at him shocked. She completely believed him. She felt her cheeks flaming red with pleased confusion. He wanted to be with her too. He felt the compulsion that she did, to be together.. Faith shook her head with tears in her eyes. "I'm falling in love with you Constantine. I've never felt this way with anybody else either."

Constantine leaned over the table in the booth and pulled her face towards him, so he could kiss her another glorious time. He released her gently. They both sat down once more and regarded each other across the table, in mutual breathless confusion.

She looked at him worried. "Do you think it's a spell?"

"My first thought, I saw a priest and a warlock in Rome. No spell, I'm just in love apparently." Constantine was frowning. Faith could see the faint wrinkles on his brow and in the corners of his eyes. He was forty-one, she had never been with anyone that much older than her. It wasn't a big difference, sixteen years.

"I never thought you'd be feeling the same way." Constantine told her honestly. "That we're both crazy."

Faith finished her wine. "Can we go back to your hotel and screw now then?"

"Good plan." Constantine downed his beer as well.

Faith and Constantine walked back to his hotel at a fast pace. They lustfully fell on each other, the second they were in the old fashioned lift.

"I want you inside me now." Faith chuckled as she undid his tie. "These lifts are so slow, is that how you're going to screw me? Or is it going to be fast and hard?"

"Haven't decided," Constantine shrugged, as the doors opened. This was true, he had been fantasying about different ways of fucking her all week. He still had not decided. They both automatically checked the corridor for danger. Seeing it was all clear Constantine led her to his room down the hall.

Once in his room, they stared entranced at one another. Constantine slowly unbuttoned her black jacket. They were both feeling ecstatic, like children on Christmas morning. They were going to get to fuck each other again. It was all they had both been wanting and thinking about since they parted in Nevada

. Faith shivered with desire, as he slid her linen jacket off her arms slowly.  
Constantine gave a sharp intake of breath at the sight of her black satin bra. The bra barely cupped her breasts. Constantine thought it was the best garment ever invented. Faith was even better looking naked in daylight, than at night.

Faith pulled his tie off and let it fall to the ground carelessly.

Constantine winced, it was an expensive tie, but it was only seconds before he had forgotten, more interested in kissing and licking her flesh.

Faith felt all her rational thought flee, in the sensations of his lips upon her skin. He managed to finally get her bra off. Faith undid her skirt and kicked off her shoes. Constantine picked Faith up and placed her on the bed firmly. Constantine removed his own footwear and then smiled at her lovingly. He found her so lovely, so young, so wonderful.

Constantine undid her hair, (he had hated seeing it up like that, he thought her brown waves were beautiful) letting it cascade down her bare back. She managed to partially undo his shirt, before his lips wandered to her aching nipples. After that she couldn't do much more than moan.

Constantine didn't know why he wanted to hurt her and love her simultaneously as they had sex but he did. At one stage he told her he loved her.

"You can't love me." Faith told him afterwards, as she lay in his arms pulling the condom off and tying a knot in it. "You hardly know me."

"Logically I know that." Constantine admitted kissing her hair. "But I still love you."

"Do you want to stay married to me, to avoid going back to hell?" Faith queried drawing patterns on his stomach with her finger.

"'He' doesn't care about that, we were both drunk." Constantine said, knowing he wanted to stay married to Faith mostly so he could fuck her every single day, for the rest of his life. "But I want us to have a blessing in a Catholic Church next week, cover our asses."

"Can we get photos this time round?" Faith asked, she wanted to have a permanent reminder of him for when he came to his senses and left her. He'd have to leave her, all men left her.

"A friend sent me these in Rome. I'd asked him to pick them up. The chapel did this rip off wedding album thing, the prints were at the photographers." Constantine said passing her an envelope.

Faith looked at the photos of their Vegas wedding. It was nightmarish beyond belief. The chapel was done up like a Klingon space ship and she and Constantine were wearing borrowed Klingon regalia. They both looked off their faces. Faith burst out laughing and put the photos down.

Constantine kissed her throat and ran his hands over her breasts again. Faith held his hands still.

"I wanna make this marriage work Constantine, but I need to tell you two things first." Faith said hesitantly.

"I know about the murder, the jail term and the pardon." Constantine cut her off. "There's more work in Europe anyway for a Demon hunter."

Faith smiled, she was happy never to set foot in California again. She stopped smiling, remembering the second thing she needed to tell him.

"I can never have kids without IVF." There, it hurt to tell him but he had to know. "I was raped when I was thirteen, by one of my mother's alcoholic boyfriends. Asshole had syphilis, my internal scarring is bad. The doctors told me when I was fifteen that I'll never conceive naturally."

"I know, you tore a hole in the condom with your fingernails, when we first screwed. We discovered it afterwards and you told me you couldn't have kids." Constantine looked embarrassed. "I didn't know how to bring it up with you before …. but we should both get tested for STD's, before we stop using rubbers."

"You're a real health nut aren't you?" Faith said to him amused, not feeling the slightest bit insulted. God knows who Constantine had been with the last twenty years. He had obviously fucked Ellie, there was ex-lover tension there.

Faith kissed his chest worshipfully. The guy had a great body. Hesitantly she asked. "So you don't want kids?" Robin had.

"I don't mind either way." Constantine said. "There are two things you should know, about me Faith. The Constantines are unlucky, and identical twins run in the family. That is something the mother is meant to control, but not in our family. Twins run all through the Constantine line. I had a twin, but he died when he was twenty… never spotted him down below."

"Well I don't know if I want children either, I'm not anti the idea. I'm just scared." Faith explained.

"The same," Constantine agreed, they had plenty of time. Maybe when she was twenty-eight they could try then for kids, Constantine thought. He kissed her affectionately. "Let's get those STD tests done now." He could hardly wait to fuck her without condoms.

"On a Sunday? Good luck." Faith said doubtfully. She was certain every clinic that did testing, would be shut.

"Fine, let's pick out a church." Constantine suggested instead. They could at least get different photos to stick on the sideboard. He wasn't having that picture of them in Klingon robes, blown up and framed on the wall.


	7. Chapter 7

Ain't it times like these 

Chapter 7 Ain't it times like these that make you wonder if you'll ever know the meaning of things as they appear to the others.

Part One.

Faith woke up the next morning feeling happy. She was aware of John leaning on one arm looking at her. That was why she was happy she remembered. The man she had fallen in love with loved her back.

"You're pretty when you sleep." He stated simply, stroking her face. Constantine had been watching her sleep for the past twenty minutes, thinking she was the most lovely thing he had ever seen.

"You're stubbly," Faith told him touching his chin. She wanted to make love to him again immediately. "You up for it?"

Constantine cupped her breast idly. "I've an exorcism at nine, join me in the shower?" he suggested.

Faith sat in a booth in a café in a building, opposite to where Constantine was preforming his exorcism.

Faith couldn't help chuckling, as she remembered kneeling in the shower two hours earlier, her mouth and hands round Constantine's cock. He had pushed her away, warning her he was going to come. She had told him because he was too cheap to buy her dinner the night before she needed the calories.

He had pushed her head and mouth back on him and said. "You never cease to entertain."

And then when he had come and she'd swallowed, she'd said…

"You look happy Faith, penny for your thoughts?" Giles said as he sat down in front of her. He signalled to his enemy Ethan Rayne, who was buying refreshments up at the counter, that they were sitting with Faith.

"Giles!" Faith said startled. "What the hell are you and Rayne doing in Brixton?"

"We're not together, we're both bidding on some mystical artefacts in that house over there. But the owner is exorcising a demon first." Giles explained. "We're waiting till he comes for us."

"Right," Faith commented brightly wondering why the universe did this to her.

"Yes, your new friend John Constantine is doing the exorcism. Is that who you're waiting for here?" Giles inquired taking her paper and frowning at the headline.

"You're out of luck luv if you are." Ethan said bringing over a tray with pots of tea on it. "Word going round the vamp community last night is that the rude Yank bastard married a slayerette."

"Patently ridiculous, as I keep telling you Rayne." Giles argued with him. "I have sworn to the girls parents they'll be strictly chaperoned till they're eighteen. The older ones were working."

"Like the 'Dark Slayer' here?" Ethan crowed, holding up Faith's left hand to the light, showing the brand new gold band on the ring finger. Faith snatched her hand back and slapped Ethan across the back of his head for daring to touch her.

Giles looked at her appalled. Ethan rubbed his head, smirking knowingly at her.

"Like it?" Faith said brightly. "We got matching rings in this great jewellers shop in Islington, yesterday afternoon."

"Not a pawn shop was it luv?" Ethan inquired.

"I'm amazed you're still alive." Faith told Ethan. "I woulda thought something should have eaten you by now and then had indigestion."

"Good Lord, Faith. It was you married to Constantine in Las Vegas last week?" Giles spluttered.

"Yeah, kinda romantic huh?" Faith said hopefully, to an appalled Giles. 

Constantine came in with a middle aged Sikh, and went over to their booth. He rolled his eyes at Faith as if to indicate a hard morning and sat down beside her reaching out to hold her hand.

"Giles and Rayne, here for the auction?" Constantine greeted them. "This is Prithri Singh Faith, Singh my wife Faith."

Faith and Singh shook hands; Singh spotted another buyer and went over to her.

"Congratulations on your marriage Constantine." Rayne commented stirring his tea "Must be the supernatural wedding of the year, a Constantine to the 'Dark Slayer'."

"The 'Dark Slayer'?" Constantine said, quirking an interested eyebrow at Faith.

"The whole going bad thing," Faith explained. Constantine squeezed her hand. She could have massacred an orpahanage and he wouldn't care.

"I see you two knew so much about each other before you got wed." Rayne smirked again.

"Well Faith, I wish you every happiness and Constantine congratulations." Giles said with his usual class. His demeanour slipped for a second "A word Faith?"

Faith and Giles stepped outside on to the footpath in the warm summer morning. "I suppose the explanation for your sudden marriage Faith, is the culmination of your life philosophy of want, take, have?"

"Suppose so, yeah," Faith said considering the idea. "And we want to be married to each other."

"You're going to attempt to make this marriage work?" Giles said amazed to her. It was without doubt the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

"Constantine doesn't 'attempt' anything." Faith smiled joyously, turning to re-enter the café. "Don't worry about me Giles, the road to redemption is a rocky path and I've finally found someone I can walk along it with."

Once Singh and his buyers had left the café together Constantine and Faith found themselves alone in the booth.

Constantine leaned over and kissed Faith on the mouth. The kiss was given in affection and returned with passion. This was the way all their non sexual kisses were turning out. Constantine lapped at her tongue with his own, pulling her on his lap instinctively. he couldn't help himself. He needed to be close to her. Faith hooked her bare leg in its black linen skirt, round his hip wanting to feel as much of him as she could. Constantine slid his hand up her smooth bare thigh, delighting in touching her flesh.

"Uh hum excuse me, but Faith I think you took my wallet by accident." Giles voice came breaking their embrace.

Faith broke away from her kiss with Constantine embarrassed. She didn't normally make out in public. Not since she'd got out of prison anyway. "No Giles, I never had it."

"That bloody Rayne!" Giles said angrily. He looked at them and shook his head and then hurried off.

"I need to get changed." Faith told Constantine. She looked at him shyly, fearing rejection. "Wanna see where I live?"

Constantine looked interested at Faith's rooms that late afternoon. Her furnishings looked antique as if they had come with the room. The only things that were Faith's were pot plants and bed and table coverings that looked Medieval somehow. He commented on it.

"They're from Pylea." Faith said stroking the coarse fabric. "It was a beautiful place."

Her cat came jumping in the window. Faith fed him. "This is my cat Hellmouth." She explained. 'I took him to Pylea with me accidentally and brought him back alive! I subscribe totally to the theory that a cat isn't just for Christmas."

"It's a great apartment Faith." Constantine told her. She relaxed visibly, he could tell his approval was very important to her.

Constantine went over and held her. He knew he was obsessed with her and he didn't give a damn.

"I love you Faith." He whispered to the young woman. "You are so wonderful in every way."

"Oh John," Faith whispered back. It was all too good to be real. "You don't know me properly yet, and if you did…"

There was a knock on the door and Buffy and Dawn came dashing in with a giant rubber plant, laughing. They stopped in the middle of the living room and looked surprised at Constantine standing close to Faith.

"We saw this plant for sale and thought it screamed 'you'." Buffy explained to Faith putting the rubber down.

"Hello Constantine." Dawn said curiously. "I didn't know you knew Faith."

Constantine spoke in his normal expressionless voice "Yeah, didn't I mention in it in Rome? We got married last week." 

"Get out!" said Dawn amazed. "You married Faith! You guys make such a good match!"

"Thanks brat." Faith said touched. She thought they made a good match, and to have someone else confirm it was mana from heaven.

"You eloped in Vegas and didn't tell me?" Buffy said to Faith sounding hurt. "I thought we'd surmounted the tried to kill each other bit, and were finally friends."

"B. oh god, we are." Faith said distressed. "You're my best friend. Constantine and me were working things out, before we made a big public announcement, is all."

"We can't work out whether to put an ad in a newspaper or leave flyers in demon bars." Constantine said dryly. The supernatural world was going to be agog about their impulsive marriage he realised. He could see it in his mind. Roll up for The Constantines nine day wonder, observe the sixteen year age gap, marvel that a beautiful ex convict wanted to be with a cynical bastard like him.

"Constantine is going back to LA tomorrow, to close down whatever he's got running there currently." Faith told Buffy. "I thought you could help me organise a reception for after the blessing."

"Will it involve clothes shopping?" Buffy asked hopefully. Buffy loved a good shopping expedition.

"Totally." said Faith persuasively. Faith offered the ultimate appeasement. "New shoes will need to be bought as well

Buffy smiled mollified. "Well I say congratulations to the bride and groom then."

Part Two

London 9.30pm

Faith sat in her armchair stroking her cat. She had been apart from Constantine for a week since he had gone back to L.A. and finished his affairs there. His grandparents had been born in the United Kingdom, so he qualified for permanent residency in the United Kingdom. He was more than willing to close everything down in Los Angles to join her in the U.K.

Faith missed Constantine with a passion that scared her. She had never, never felt this way for any man before.

Firstly there had been her myriad loser boyfriends in Boston starting when she was fourteen. Her mother's boyfriend hadn't put her off sex, just made her promiscuous. As if searching for the answer to why her Mom's boyfriend had done that to her. God, she'd been a sad little girl.

Faith had always had a sexual attraction to Angel and the two had a real sympathy for one another. But a Vampire and a Slayer, with the shadow of Buffy between them, it was never meant to be.

Wesley, when she had come back to L.A. to help capture Angelus, she had known they were made for one another. Wesley and Faith made that good a team. Pryce had taken her aside once Angel was resouled and made love with her on the floor in an empty hotel room in the Hyperion. The sex had been about as depraved as you could get without toys. Faith would always remember their tryst fondly.

Then the Fang Gang had made that deal with Wolfram and Hart. Everyone including her, had lost all memories of Connor. Faith only remembered her former Watcher grown competent. She had no recollection of the man who had been destined for hell like her, then redeemed himself. 

So Faith had then got serious with Robin Woods and it was such a great relationship they had together normal, healthy, fun. She gladly got married to Woods and was happy. Then suddenly her memories of Connor and her Wes had come flooding back to her in April 2004, as if a spell had been broken. Faith loved Woods too much to hurt him. So Faith didn't go to L.A. to be with Wesley, like her instincts were screaming at her to do.

Then a month after her memory had returned, Woods had been bitten by a Werewolf. Woods had tried to rip her to shreds the next full moon. The Watcher's Council heard the news of Wesley Wyndham Pryce's death. Faith had spent an hour crying in the shower so Robin couldn't hear her, and then gone out to get hammered with Giles.

Faith had stared at a bottle of bourbon for a full half hour without touching it, the day Woods walked out the door on her. She had put it back in her drinks cabinet and gone over to Giles house for a good cry and a cup of tea.

Faith spent the next two month's in Pylea helping Lorne and the Groosalugg bring Pylea back on track. Faith unlike her cat had loved Pylea. Pylea possessed a savagery that was being tempered with the reform taking place. Faith fully intended to go back there one day. Pylea's ruler the Groosalugg was her kind of guy as well.

Her cell phone beeped and Faith looked it at. 'LOVE YOU FAITH. JOHN.' Faith's chest hurt, ached with missing Constantine so much, it was like going through a drug withdrawal. She touched her gold wedding ring like a talisman.

L.A. 1.30pm

Constantine looked disbelievingly at his wedding ring again. He had just taped the last of his possessions up in a cardboard box and sent a sentimental text to Faith. Constantine wondered if he was truly going insane. He felt he was acting like a love struck teenage and couldn't stop himself.

Constantine's frequent associate in Los Angles Dr. Midnite, had suggested he had lost his mind.

"You must have just crossed over into Crazyland and didn't even realize it …" the Voodoo master had accused Constantine amused. "You're forty-one and what is the slayerette, eighteen? Isn't that their normal age Constantine?"

"She's twenty four." Constantine answered. "Her name is Faith."

"The Dark Slayer? No wonder you can't live in L.A." Midnite had burst out laughing and Constantine had walked out the door.

Constantine was aware of two figures in the doorway of his now old apartment. Chas his ex sidekick, elevated to angel status once dead and Ellie, a thousand year old demon and his on and off lover.

"What brings you the two of you here at once?" Constantine asked. "I hope it's just that you met in the stairwell."

"Our shared concern for you John." Ellie breathed huskily. "'They're' planning something."

'And that's news because?" Constantine asked sounding bored.

"It concerns you specifically John." Ellie said her tail showing.

"I think 'they' want to turn you into a twenty first century Job." Chas said looking worried, his wings unfolding and refolding nervously. 'They both want your soul and God thinks he can get away with letting Lucifer torment you a lot without you cracking. You've just become a gentleman's wager."

"Aren't you taking a risk being here or are you being part of their plan?" Constantine said looking bored.

"Part of their plan of course" Ellie trilled. "They're starting John. We're just messengers but we do love you, that's why they sent us, to hurt all three of us. The big guys are very inclusive when it comes to dishing out pain."

Chas looked uneasy. Ellie and Constantine enjoyed his discomfort. Angels were pains in the ass especially the good ones. The three stood uncomfortably silent for a few minutes.

"Thanks for the heads up." Constantine said finally. "Will I be seeing you at our reception next week? I don't expect you in the church of course Ellie."

"Well hats make me look ugly." Ellie shrugged. "Is Charity wearing a hat."

"'Faith' said it's a surprise on the day." Constantine said. He knew Ellie could never resist a dig. "How's Xander, still using his blind spot on you?"

"Ah, Xander did you know he lost his cherry to 'Faith' John? Your little bride really got around in her younger days." Ellie smiled insincerely.

"Ellie you can't help your self can you?" Constantine said amused. Faith could have screwed every college football team in California and he'd still want her.

"Demon, John." Ellie laughed pointing at herself. "Well I must head back to the United Kingdom. Can I take something with me of yours, save on shipping?"

"Tempting but no,'" Constantine refused.

"You're so mistrusting John," Ellie blew him a kiss and vanished from the room in a puff of sulphur.

Constantine's cell phone beeped and he looked at the message. 'I LOVE YOU 2. FAITH' Constantine smiled fondly down at it.

Chas wings flapped faster in distress.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Ringing like a bell from my head down to my toes

September 2005

Faith woke up safe in Constantine's arms, she kissed him on the chin, as he lay sleeping.

Faith got up and looked at the document Constantine had handed her, the minute he had walked in the door after coming back from Rome yesterday night.

It was a declaration of nullity, from a very high up Bishop. God only knew, how Constantine had swung it. Things like that normally took six months. Her previous marriage to Woods was now annulled, because of his lycanthropy. Only her marriage to Constantine now counted. This evening they were having their marriage blessed. A reception party was then being held in the Watchers Council hall, for all their friends and John's family.

Faith hugged herself in joy. Life was so good, she could cry with happiness. Faith loved John so much and they were going to be together forever.

The church was reasonably full that afternoon. Faith noticed a lot of onlookers in the back of the church. The onlookers, some heavily veiled had come to get a glimpse of what was being called 'the marriage of the year' in the supernatural community.

Constantine looked at Faith, with the tenderness he reserved exclusively for her. She was wearing a long red satin cheongsam with sensible splits, in case of demon attack. Her hair was up and held back with turquoise chopsticks.

The priest blessed their marriage and their rings. Faith, Constantine and the few other Catholics amongst their friends took communion together.

Faith and John had never felt so full of the grace of God.

Faith was finally introduced at the reception, to the U.K. John Constantine or J.C. as he was jokingly called by Giles, who had known him in his Ripper days.

"The cocky prick acts like he's Jesus Christ, wait till the evening wears on." Giles had told her in explanation.

Faith found J.C. an attractive man, like his cousin her John Constantine. J.C. was too old for her. J.C. found Faith attractive too obviously, for as the evening wore on he got more and more drunk and came onto her repeatedly.

People called for speeches and Xander stood up on a bench, with a mike. "I introduced these two and I realise I did a good deed in a bad world, accidentally. Have you ever seen a couple more made for each other than them? A toast to Mr and Mrs Constantine."

The room erupted into hoots and cheers, people raised their glasses, toasting Constantine and Faith.

Constantine and Faith climbed up on a coffee table together.

"It's been a month since Faith and I got legally married." Constantine said to the assembled gathering. "It was a whirlwind wedding and we regretted not having our friends and family with us. So we want to thank you for coming to this shindig, some from overseas." He nodded at Dr Midnite from L.A, "Some from other dimensions." He nodded at Lorne. "We'd like to start the evening with a toast to absent friends."

Every one raised their glasses and toasted absent friends.

Faith radiated happiness at her guests. "We need to thank the people here in London, who helped us. Rona and Vi made us that wonderful cake, by hand. Buffy helped me choose and buy my dress, knock it down in price and find caterers. Giles helped me choose and buy all the alcohol and Dawn and Ellie did all the floral decorations."

"She did?" Murmured John in Faith's ear concerned. "What is it, poison ivy?"

"So my next toast is to the friends and family, that are here with us now." Faith smiled and everyone drank a toast again.

The waiters went round refilling glasses. Ellie blew on her glass and another demon's, to turn the wine into blood. Xander frowned at her.

"Its pig's blood darling, relax." Ellie laughed.

"I want to say something about my new wife." Constantine looked at his young wife, in loving disbelief that someone as amazing as her, would want to be with him.

Giles folded his arms and whispered cynically to Buffy. "Is it possible that Constantine is going to start shouting 'I'm in love with this woman' and jump up and down on the coffee table?"

Buffy choked on her wine, trying to suppress a laugh. She turned it into a polite cough and refocused on the speeches.

"Faith I've said everything I needed to you, in the Church two hours ago, but she looks amazing everybody doesn't she?" Constantine declared to everyone. "I never know what she's going to wear next, but she always looks beautiful, probably because she is so beautiful on the inside."

"I can't believe he got all soppy like that, in front of youse guys." Faith laughed to her friends, her South Boston accent always thick in times of nervousness. She looked up at John in adoration and they got down from the coffee table.

Xander called for others to say a few words.

Buffy stood up. "I've known Faith since Sunnydale High School. I was attending it, she kept persuading me to play truant." Everyone laughed. "We've had our differences, but Faith's basic goodness and strength always triumphs and I hope you'll both find that in your marriage." Everyone clapped.

Dr Midnite stood up. "I know both John Constantines, they are both good men in their own way, but Dark Slayer you married the better man to be your husband.

Giles took the stand. "Faith is an extraordinary girl, who has overcome appalling obstacles to become the leader and champion for good she has. I hear even Constantine has saved the world from an apocalypse once. As people keep mentioning, it is indeed uncanny how similar they are. All the members of the new Watchers Council and every slayer, wish them every happiness.

J.C. came over and took the mike. "Name's John Constantine, I'm not the nicest bloke you've met. I'm Yank Constantine's cousin. Well you're a great supernatural addition to the Constantine family, Faith love. It's great to see John with a human for a change as well." he said to the gathered assembly of thirty, of whom six were demons.

"Well, me whole family's musical, folks..." J.C. went on. "Even the sewing machine's a Singer but tonight, they've got Krevlornswath "Lorne" Of The Deathwok Clan to do a number."

Lorne stood up and smiled. "Well kids it's great to be back in this dimension, to see my and Pylea's favourite Slayer. Faith hon, there's a job waiting for you back at the castle anytime you want and bring tall dark and cynical." Everyone laughed.

"Now," Lorne announced. "I want to sing a song to the happy couple, while they lead the dancing. Ellie is doing the backing. It's by Constantine's favourite artist and a great wedding song or blessing song, in you two love birds' case." Lorne joked

"Leonard Cohen's 'Dance me to the end of love." The green singing Demon announced. Ellie accompanied Lorne on the piano in the hall and he began to sing.

"Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin  
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in  
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove  
And dance me to the end of love  
Yeah, dance me to the end of love "

John took Faith in his arms and led her round the room. They had practised dancing to this song all morning, so they didn't make fools of themselves.

"Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone  
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon  
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of  
And dance me to the end of love  
Dance me to the end of love"

Giles offered his arm to Buffy and they spun decorously round the dance floor. Buffy hadn't been able to take the Immortal as her partner to this event, but had enjoyed catching up with Giles immeasurably.

"Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on  
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long   
We're both of us beneath our love... both of us above  
And dance me to the end of love  
Yeah, dance me to the end of love" 

Xander and Dawn waltzed with flair. Xander had taught Dawn to dance, when she was fifteen and in his opinion had trained her perfectly.

"Dance me to the children who are asking to be born  
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn   
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn  
And dance me to the end of love "

"I do want kids with you Faith." Constantine whispered to her, as he spun her round the dance floor. "I'm sure they're going to come our way as well."

Without thinking he began to sing along quietly with the words, that Ellie sang in her beautiful voice. Constantine had heard the song eight times that morning and it kept repeating in his mind. Faith hummed along with him absentmindedly, resting her head on his shoulder.

Lorne had stopped. This was Ellie's solo section. Lorne froze and looked at Constantine and Faith in complete horror.

"Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin   
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in  
Touch me with your naked hand... touch me with your glove  
Dance me to the end of love  
Dance me to the end of love  
Dance me to the end of love"


	9. Chapter 9

Top of Form

Chapter 9 Mama always said I'd be The Chosen One.

September

Part One

Faith awakened feeling like she was going to vomit. She slid out from under Constantine's ever protective arm. She went to the bathroom, to take some antacid tables. She opened the medicine cabinet, slammed it shut, leaning forward she proceeded to throw up in the bathroom sink.

Faith wondered where the hell that had come from? She hadn't eaten anything weird yesterday. She cleaned up the sink, then stepped in the shower. Constantine came in to join her, a few minutes later.

"Did you throw up kid?" he asked her, reaching past her for the soap.

"Yeah, I bet it was that free range chicken ,you insist on getting." Faith teased, their cupboards were now full of health food thanks to John. "Not enough antibiotics in it."

"Can't dine on hot dogs every night Faith," Constantine grabbed his razor out of her hand and smacked her ass. "Stop using my razorblades."

"You've got a sadistic streak Constantine." Faith commented.

"So have you Faith." Constantine answered her back. "In fact you're a much sicker fuck than I am." he kissed her shoulder. "It's part of what I love about you kid."

Faith thought about Constantine's comment as she fought a vampire that evening. She did get off on causing vampires pain ,but that must help her be a successful slayer surely? She didn't like causing humans' pain. She liked hurting John a little in bed, because she knew he'd hurt her back.

"What are you grinning about?" the vampire said offended.

"My marriage." Said Faith happily and staked the vampire through his heart.

Faith came home to Constantine, he was back from exorcising a demon in a tough neighbourhood. There was a bandage on his ankle from a rat bite. Faith made a sympathetic face.

"Next time I'll bring your cat." He commented, sitting restlessly on the couch flicking through the channels on television.

"I'll charge an agents fee." Faith threatened, ironing her skirt for tomorrow.

Constantine switched off the television and limped over to her. "I had another warning from a winged friend, that the guys upstairs and down below are up to something concerning me, which will end up concerning you."

Faith put her skirt on a hanger. "I've heard rumours too. I'll deal with what happens, when it happens."

"Be careful, look what happened to Job's wife." Constantine said hugging her. Was it possible to love anyone as much as he loved her he wondered? She had to be a heavenly target.

"I'm worried about the cat. Look what happened to Job's cattle." Faith laughed at him.

Part two

Faith lay back, pleasantly sore from Constantines love making the next morning. Their lovemaking had if anything, grown in in intensity since they had been married. Faith became aware of an increasing inner queasiness. Damn, she was not going to throw up. Nope, she was just going to concentrate on going over her morning meeting in her mind. She got quickly out of bed.

Faith just made it to the toilet.

Constantine offered her, Faith's normal black morning coffee. But she waved it away nauseated.

"See a doctor today Faith." Constantine advised her. "You must have a virus kid." He kissed her goodbye and shot out of their flat.

Faith sat in the weekly Watchers Council meeting feeling queasy still. The pompous asshole Robin Wyndham Pryce went on and on droning crap.

"Well, that makes me feel better about me, worse about you, kinda shaky about Weatherby." Faith interrupted him.

"Do take the floor Mrs Constantine and tell us how you would have gone about it." Wyndham Pryce told her crossly.

"Fine," said Faith cockily. "That will stretch my legs and spare every one your crap. Win win situation for us all." She stood up and took the floor.

Faith spoke for a minute about how the Scottish manoeuvre should have gone and then started swaying.

"Faith!" Giles cried alarmed, springing from his seat he caught the swooning slayer just as she blacked out. Faith came to lying on the floor, Giles unbuttoning her jacket.

"Wow Giles, never knew you were so skilful with the moves." Faith joked, she felt a bit scared she had never fainted before.

"Idiot girl, I'm trying to let you breathe. Your skirt's cutting into you," Giles said unbuttoning the side button.

"Well it must have shrunk in the wash." Faith commented defensively. She had noticed the skirt had seemed tight that morning. Faith didn't want to be the first tubby slayer.

"We've rung Constantine, he's coming to take you to the doctor now." Giles told her.

Part Three.

Constantine came in nervously to the doctor's room. He saw Faith had been crying and his heart beat fast in terror. He had known it had all been too wonderful to be true. The diagnosis for his beautiful adored young wife was probably leukemia.

The doctor smiled at him jovially. "Well Mr Constantine, it seems those IVF rounds we were planning early next year won't be necessary after all, your wife is pregnant. Judging from the high hormone levels in her system, I'd say it is with twins as well."

Constantine sat down reeling. "Christ!" he gasped in shock, as he turned to Faith. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm so happy." Faith sobbed hysterically as shocked as he was. "It's a miracle."

Constantine drew his wife in his arms uneasily, letting her sob out her joyous amazement. Constantine was highly suspicious of miracles. They often came with a price.

Part four

December 2005

Faith lay on her couch, crocheting bootees. Everyone had been surprised she could crochet.  
This had amused her.

"I picked it up in workshop, in prison." She had told a visiting Dawn. Dawn had nodded in comprehension. "No, my grandma taught me!" Faith had exclaimed. "What, I can't have a domestic side?"

"Well you have now, obviously." Dawn had told her. "Marriage to Constantine has really changed you Faith, even more than with Robin."

"I'm happy!" Faith laughed to Dawn. "I'm with someone who adores me and I think is pretty cool himself."

"Yeah, he's cold." Dawn agreed with Faith. Dawn took pity on Faith's crestfallen look. "But not to you, it's obvious he loves you. He's crowing about the babies as well."

Faith was reflecting on Dawn's statement. Constantine was pleased about the twins. But Faith could tell he was also worried it was going to negatively affect their relationship. Faith was worried about that too. The two of them were so intense, was there room for children in their lives?

There was a knock on the door, and Faith waddled over to open it. Lorne was standing outside with interesting looking parcels.

"Lorne!" she said thrilled. The two had always got on well since the minute they met. They hugged hard.

Lorne looked down at the 'babies bump' as she and Constantine referred to it.

"I thought so. It's a girl and a boy." Lorne said. "You hummed at your wedding remember."

"Twins can you believe it?" Faith laughed sitting down on her couch and patting Lorne to sit beside her. "Oh Lorne, things are so great at the moment, I'm so, so happy. I've never been this happy."

"That's great pumpkin." Lorne said slowly, choosing to sit in an opposite armchair from her. "But I'm here on State business. Your twins form part of a prophecy on Pylea."

"What?" said Faith startled.

"I don't want to tell you this. But hard times are coming your way Faith, and there's a home for you on Pylea. Your daughter is destined to be a great Queen there, your son a champion." Lorne shrugged. "Or maybe the prophecy refers to Rona, hard to tell. But there is a home for you and Constantine on Pylea Faith, remember that."

"Constantine is totally stuck on this dimension, this hell, this heaven." Faith said, shaking her head. "I'd never see him leaving. I'd never leave him. Don't tell me the future Lorne, I'm happy now. I know it's too good to last."

'You're a good person sweetie." Lorne said sadly to her. "Now I have presents. I have a hell hound tooth baby mobile for starters, made by the freed slaves of the Hearths province. A Meckel leather basinet from Groo, he killed the Meckel himself..."

Faith looked touched. "People are so kind."

February 2006

"I get that you're horny." Constantine said to his beloved young wife, while he gently moved in and out of her. They were having sex doggie style, Faith holding onto the bathroom sink for support. "I get you worry I don't find you attractive any more, but because its you kid, I do."

"Then why won't you go harder?" Faith begged him.

"I don't want to hurt you." Constantine said digging his hands into her hipbones.

"I'm a slayer." Faith protested. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't make me fragile."

"Indulge me wanting to cosset you a little." Constantine said moving slightly faster.

"Please John, please John." Faith begged. "I need it harder baby, I need you, you're so big, it feels so great when you..."

Constantine froze. "Stop cheating, by talking dirty or I'm not continuing."

Faith grinned to herself over the sink. It had been worth a try.

April 2006

Constantine looked up from the Ikea kitset cot and looked frustrated at the instruction sheet.

"Look I told you, Willow is here this evening." Faith suggested from the couch. "Why not get her in. It'll take her one minute…"

"I do not attempt to put something together Faith, I succeed okay? The Constantines do not call in outside help." Constantine said determined. "Now why are there two screws left over and this piece of wood?"

Part Five 

April 2006

Constantine held Faith's hand as she whimpered in discomfort. "You know kid, you could have had a caesarean with twins. It was offered."

"Fuck off!" said Faith walking round the room. "You are not being supportive of our birthing plan."

"Sorry Faith, you're doing a great job baby." Constantine couldn't help laughing at her as he held her upright. He had never seen Faith be irrational before.

"You're patronising me, where's Buffy?" Faith snapped. "Getting her to leave the room, so she can buy cigars wasn't part of the birthing plan."

Constantine smiled patiently and wiped Faith's brow with a damp cloth. "The gift shop's closing in ten minutes and she needed to use the bathroom."

"She's my second support person." Faith said crossly. "I planned this, we planned this and now people aren't following the plan."

"Life doesn't go to plan Faith, that's why the twins hapened." Constantine reminded her. "Can I get you an ice cube to suck?"

"Yeah, and where's the damn nurse?" Faith looked round the room. "I need her." she added in a little girl voice.

"You're channelling Cordelia, Faith." Buffy said amused, coming into the room carrying a plastic bag. "Sorry to take so long, had to stake a vamp on the way back from the gift shop."

"Take over holding her hand." Constantine said to Buffy. "I need to pee."

"Oh bullshit John Constantine, you're having a cigarette with your cousin and why is he waiting outside the birthing unit again?" Faith demanded.

Constantine kissed her on the mouth affectionately, as Buffy took over holding Faith's hand.

"Because he's my support person." He told his wife. "Try not to pop them out, while I'm gone."

"Could he be more fucking insufferable?" Faith asked of Buffy as her friend rubbed her back.

"Up till two hours ago you adored him." Buffy reminded her. "I've never seen two people as in love as you and he are."

"Yeah we are." Faith smiled then whimpered. "This hurts B."

"You're doing great Faith." Buffy smiled at her friend.

"Don't you patronise me too." Faith snarled at her.

May 2006

Constantine looked at his wife breastfeed their daughter Johanna, while he bottlefed their son Charles. Constantine had dark circles under his eyes. Forty one, he thought was too old to be a first time father. Fortunately Faith was only twenty five and a slayer, it helped balance them as a couple.

Constantine wouldn't have swapped his family for the world.

AN: Right that is the fluffy ending. If you don't like reading about incest, stop now and don't read the next chapter. It is all going to get really dark. You were warned.


	10. Chapter 10

Wives, husbands, mothers, fathers 

Warning: Contains Incest.

Chapter 10 Wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.

June2006

It was a surprise cocktail party for Giles, the Constantines were attending that night. Faith and Constantine had been warned that Robin Woods was also going to be attending the function.

Constantine loathed parties but knew Faith loved them. So he went with her, uncomplaining about the monkey suit he was being forced to wear, for Giles birthday bash. The kid deserved a bit of fun. Faith hadn't had a big night out, since the twins had been born. Constantine had been completely content staying at home, occasionally having friends round for dinner or cards, going out to restaurants a couple of times with friends. But he knew Faith still had a wild child streak. It surprised him how unselfish his love for Faith made him. He would do anything to make her happy.

Giles townhouse was full of glamorous people, unrecognisable without sweat, demon blood and vampire ash all over them. All the men were wearing tuxedos, all the women evening dresses. Faith was wearing a tight red gown that her breasts seemed to now be spilling out of, due to breast feeding. Constantine looked at her lustfully. They hadn't had intercourse since the twins had been born.

Faith was so insecure, she had insisted on preforming fellatio on Constantine every few days, since she'd given birth. Constantine knew it would hurt her more if he refused and of course he got off on it, but it bothered him.

Constantine adored her, but now he'd been living with Faith for nearly a year it saddened him to realise the woman he cherished had terrible self esteem. Faith enjoyed sex but it was also the only way she thought she could hold onto men, hold onto him and in a way he found it offensive. He wondered what bugged her about him.

"I feel he doesn't care about the twins like I do." Faith said checking her make up in the mirror with Dawn. "He'd die to protect them, I know that but he's just not that interested in them."

"He's an exorcist, not a nanny." Dawn said smoothing her dress. "I've seen him change their diapers, bathe them, feed them bottles, that looks like love to me."

"He does that to give me a break." Faith frowned. "He loves me more than them and that's wrong."

"He loves you all," said Dawn reassuringly, linking her arm with Faith and walking back down the stairs to get drinks.

Once at the drinks table, she spun Faith round. "See that French woman over there? That's Principal Woods's girlfriend."

Faith rolled her eyes in amusement "Are you ever going to call him Robin, Dawnie?"

"Do you ever call Giles, Rupert?" Dawn answered back. "Shall I introduce you to Monique?"

Constantine stood outside with the other smokers, talking to J.C. and a gate crashing Ethan Rayne, when he was introduced to Robin Woods.

The younger man shook his hand and sniffed (there was no other word for it) the air around Constantine in astonishment. Constantine shook Woods hand, wondering what the hell the guy's problem was. Constantine had bathed; he had applied the deodorant Faith had pretended had come from the twins on his birthday.

Werewolves were normally more socially polite than that.

Woods looked at Constantine completely puzzled and walked away abruptly, shortly after their introduction.

"That your Missus's ex, eh?" J.C. sucked on his cigarette amused. "Better looking bloke than you John, but mad as a meat axe obviously."

"He smelt something interesting about you mate." Ethan explained drunkenly to Constantine. "Werewolves are big on smell."

"Thanks for the enlightenment." Constantine said sarcastically. He inhaled the smoke from his cigarette and saw Faith come outside into the garden. He could tell all the men in the garden thought she was gorgeous and felt a swell of pride. Constantin still didn't get why a girl like Faith found him so desirable.

"I've come to have one." Faith confessed to Constantine, feeling his jacket for his packet of cigarettes. "Just tonight?"

Constantine gave her a cigarette reluctantly. He knew the nicotine got in her breast milk but didn't want to embarrass her in front of others. He'd given up smoking at home completely now, since Faith had got pregnant but they'd both lapsed at functions like these. The twins had been born safe and healthy, he supposed they had got complacent. It was his fault, he'd bought the packet on the way over to Giles house.

"You're looking ravishing Faith." Ethan leered at her. "Flick that dry stick Yank, come home with me."

"Yeah, okay," Faith said cuddled in Constantine's arms. "I still carry a stake in my garter belt."

"Thank you for giving me that delightful picture." Ethan exclaimed rapturously.

An elegant woman in her thirties, came out into the garden.

"Eet es time to cut ze cake." Monique, Robin's girlfriend announced. She turned sharply, looked in all the Constantines direction and sniffed deeply.

"Ooo are you?" she demanded of J.C.

"John Constantine love, this one's second cousin, also called John Constantine." J.C. explained.

Monique looked baffled and seemed to stare through Constantine and Faith. "But that ees emposseeble." She muttered and then went back inside.

"That was Robin Wood's new girlfriend." Faith explained, shrugging her shoulders at the woman's bizarre behaviour, sucking on the last of her cigarette.

"Looks like a match made in bloody heaven." Ethan said tipsily, causing everyone who had been in the garden for both sniff fests to roar with laughter.

Faith got to speak with Robin, as she ate her cake off a plate. Woods came up to her while Constantine was speaking to Dawn. Dawn had newly discovered abilities, to cross herself and others into different dimensions effortlessly.

"You look amazing Faith, motherhood suits you." Woods told his ex-wife.

"Yeah, I know my tits have got bigger." Faith smirked, not able to resist touching her hair. woods was still pretty and he had meant a lot to Faith. "How's Paris?"

"Got a great job, at the American High School there" Woods replied, he proceeded to make her laugh with a funny story about one of his students who was also a demon.

Woods paused and then trying to sound as casual as possible, asked, "Everyone has gone out of their way tonight, to tell me how happy you and Constantine are together. Where's he from?"

"Los Angles," Faith said, trying to find somewhere to put her plate

"No one actually comes from Smogland, I meant which State? What's his ethnic background" Woods persisted, taking her plate for her.

"Um, Connecticut" Faith recollected. "His grandparents were from Liverpool here, before that." Faith looked at him baffled. "Now you're a werewolf, is genealogy big for you or something?"

"Just making conversation," Woods laughed, stroking the back of his head.

"Okay, lie to me then." Faith said impatiently. "We were married for over a year Robin. I can tell when you're lying." She looked at him hurt. "I so don't get you Woods, I guess I never did." Faith walked off in disgust and went outside with J.C. for another cigarette.

Constantine came out to join her and then when dancing started led her inside. He pushed her onto the dance floor so she could dance with Dawn.

J.C. leaned against the wall with Constantine sipping a martini. "She's sex on wheels mate." J.C. stated, watching Faith dancing with Dawn.

"You're a lucky man, who was given a heavenly shove in her direction." J.C. carried on. "That chapel you got married in, and your passports got burnt up in? Gabriel, our favourite fallen Angel (hates your guts certain you remember it) was arrested for the arson but got discharged."

Constantine sipped his Bloody Mary. "It was a demon who caused us to be introduced. An angel that suggested she was lonely and needed cheering up."

"You have to wonder." J.C. said evenly. "I heard she was thought barren too and then twins."

"Slayer healing" Constantine said leaning back on the wall. "That's the theory."

"Then why didn't she get pregnant with Woods?" J.C. said pointedly. 'You have that much more lead in the pencil?"

Constantine grimaced "Must have."

Faith finished dancing and went to find Constantine. He was looking at some books in Giles study, he closed them quickly when she came in.

He smiled at her and beckoned her over. "I was trying to find out about that Pylean prophecy, you told me about for the twins. Making sure they weren't in danger."

Faith stood so near him, he could smell her perfume coming off her warm skin, heated from dancing. Constantine pulled his wife close and kissed her neck.

"I love you Faith." He told her sincerely. He didn't tell her that very often any more. He felt stupid expressing with words, what he felt was obvious in the way he acted with her. He truly was nicer and kinder with her, than he'd ever been with any other woman. He didn't know why he wasn't his normal asshole self with Faith, but he just couldn't bring himself to ever hurt her.

"You're so lovely kid." he added. Truthfully he had been with more beautiful women and demons but he found Faiths features and colouring irresistible. No one had ever aroused the protective feeling in him she did, he figured it must be their age gap. Constantine tilted her chin and caressed Faith's lips with his own. He felt her come alive in his arms and pull him to her with the restrained slayer strength that was so exciting. Having sex with her was as good as fucking a demon but he'd never tell her that.

Constantine got up to close and lock the study door, then turned to her. Constantine pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard, the way he'd learnt she got off on. Faith began to respond once more and he slid his hand up her dress. She moved his hand away and began to unbuckle his belt. Constantine raised her skirt again and Faith pushed his hand away.

Constantine looked at her confused. "What the hell is wrong Faith? Why don't you want me to fuck you? I've got a condom on me, if you're worried about getting pregnant again."

"No…" Faith's eyes filled with tears." My body looks different after the twins and I don't want you to look at me…What if sex is no good with me anymore, what if you don't love me anymore." She finished frightened.

"You honestly think I'm that shallow? That you're that worthless? You just had my kids for Christ sakes I don't care if your body isn't the same." Constantine said frustrated. "Get it through your insecure head once and for all. I love you, I'll always look at you with love... nothing could change that."

Faith looked down, still upset and Constantine held her comfortingly. "Hell, I'm sixteen years older than you. I'm the one who's looking like crap these days." He kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's go home. A quickie is going to be out of the question with you, while you're feeling so damned neurotic."

Once they were home Faith fed the twins and put them down to sleep again.

She found Constantine sitting in a kitchen chair a packet of cigarettes and a bottle of Bourbon on another chair beside him, when she came out of the bedroom.

"We're going to do some role play." He announced to her. "I know you were into serious kink, when you should have been helping plan the school prom, so don't act shocked."

Faith looked uncertainly at him. "It'll be fun." Constantine assured her. "I'll do the grocery shopping for a month if it isn't." Faith moved towards him slowly. "That's right kid, I know you hate supermarkets."

"Okay, we're going to pretend we're back in the bar we first met in. I'll do the dialog, you just need to do the actions. Remember, you came in to the back room I was in, picked up my bottle and took a swig." Faith did so.

"And you said. "Do you mind company Constantine?"

"And I said "I make exceptions when company looks like you..."

Part two.

"Zhey smell ze same!" Monique insisted to Woods, as they got ready to go to bed in Giles spare room. "Ze are obviously closely related."

"I know it smells like that, but how can they be?" Woods said pacing the floor with worry. He'd always have a place in his heart for Faith.

"You zaid 'er Mother was an alcoholeec. Oo knows 'oo she slept weeth?" Monique pointed out. "Zey could be brother and seester."

"Except they smell like…"Woods trailed off distressed.

Monique shook her head in shared revulsion. "Father and daughter."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Your Papa never told you about right and wrong

Part One

**Flashback: Las Vegas Demon Bar August 2005.**

"My god Xander, you've got to check out the mechanical bull man." Faith said excitedly, dashing up to Xander at the Las Vegas Demon bar. Faith automatically checked out the guy Xander was talking to, an incredibly handsome dark haired man of forty odd. "If you fall off, it works as a sacrifice to Mithras. But it looks a great ride. I'm real tempted to go on it."

"Okay, I'm here to say no. No Faith." Xander said sternly.

"You're my pal Xander." Faith said giving him a hug. "What would I do without you, helping me keep on the straight and narrow?"

"I love that you can smoke inside this place. Demon bars are the best man!" she reached for her cigarettes in her hand bag. The man Xander was with automatically lit her cigarette for her.

"Faith, this is John Constantine." Xander said to Faith. "He's helped me out once or twice in Cleveland. He just helped me out again tonight"

Faith shook Constantine's hand. "Ooh, strong warm grip." She flirted outrageously. "I like that in a man."

"So you're a slayer?" Constantine asked her, he appreciated the way her tight red dress clung to her body. "I've met Buffy in Rome, do you know her?"

"Yeah, Buffy rocks doesn't she?" Faith said laughing; assuming Constantine must be sweet on Buffy, like most men who met her. "Xander's, Buffy's best bud though. You want Buffy information, Xander's your man."

"She's not my type. I prefer brunettes." Constantine said bluntly. He definitely preferred the girl in front of him. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Yeah, shot of bourbon thanks. So how did you help out Xander here?" Faith inquired sitting on Xander's lap and ruffling his hair affectionately, there were no spare bar stools.

"Weirdest thing," Xander explained "This demon just starting picking a fight with me at the pool table, for no reason. Constantine was passing by on his way out and stepped in, saved my ass from a beating with a pool cue."

"Did he persuade you to stay to meet his new girlfriend?" Faith asked Constantine confidingly. "Apparently the love of his life is flying in from Cleveland tonight."

"Do the great loves of one's life come from Ohio?" Constantine joked sardonically. "Must be where I've been going wrong all my life."

"Wait till you meet Ellen, she's quite something." Xander said smugly. "She's the one."

"I'm so happy for you Harris." Faith said with mock excitement, squeezing Xander again.

"So, you've no love in your life Constantine?" Faith inquired knocking her bourbon back. "You look like a loner."

"You're a little drunk aren't you kid?" Constantine said shortly to her.

Faith got a bottle of water from the bar keep. She was feeling woozy and she didn't want to get drunk, it just led to trouble and she was not a self destructive person any more. She was not. Faith kept telling herself this, constantly aware of the divorce decree, sitting like a leaden weight in her hand bag.

The evening wore on, Faith danced with Xander, at one with the music. She was totally aware of the attention she was getting from men and demons, only the winged angels seemed impervious to her charms.

Constantine sat at the bar chatting with his friend Chas, a recently made angel. Constantine kept finding his eyes drawn to Faith unwillingly. If the woman had sex the way she danced, she'd be an amazing lay.

"That girl is just looking for trouble, isn't she?" Constantine commented, wondering why he gave a shit.

"She's lonely." Chas said to him, hating himself for what he had been instructed to do. "Her persona is just an act to cover up a frightened child."

"She doesn't look like a child from here." Constantine said looking at the way Faith was now rubbing her pelvis against a female vampire on the dance floor.

"Don't be hard on her Constantine; she's in real emotional pain." Chas insisted.

"You sound like an L.A. version of Dr. Phil, since you've got feathers." Constantine said rudely.

"You should be kind to her." Chas told him.

"I'm unlikely to speak to her again Chas. She'll be probably crawl home with some shithead tonight, once Harris's new girlfriend arrives." Constantine snorted "Anyway she's probably eighteen, what does she talk about acne cream?"

"I'm sure you'll run into her again. She's a slayer, you're an exorcist, talk about that." Chas suggested.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to match us up." Constantine shrugged, knocking back his bourbon.

Faith walked through the bars back rooms upset, how rude of Xander to fuck off like that with his new girlfriend. They were probably screwing somewhere. Faith supposed Xander took longer to come these days, than he had when he was a teenager. She needed somewhere to lie low for a while, there was this stupid demon that kept hitting on her and if she got into a fight she might get thrown out.

Constantine sat in a back room, wondering what was keeping Chas. The curtain parted and Faith walked in cheeks blazing, eyes shining.

"Do you mind company Constantine?" Faith asked swaying slightly, confident in the fact men never minded her company.

Constantine noticed how on the verge of tears she seemed. He supposed it wouldn't kill him to be nice to the girl.

"I make exceptions, when company looks like you..." he shrugged. Faith was mind blowing in her sexiness.

Faith sat on the chair and took another drink. "So you exorcise demons huh? Isn't it kinda fucked, you hanging out at the same bars as them?"

"I saw a group of vampires here you weren't staking." Constantine observed coolly, taking another drink himself.

They talked about demons for a while, their conversation laden with double entendres. Excusing herself, Faith got up to go to the restroom. Xander was still nowhere to be found, so she staggered back to Constantine, who was still sitting alone.

"You honestly don't mind me being here?" she asked collapsing in a chair. She didn't want to inflict herself on anyone, if she wasn't wanted. Although in her onset of drunken pity, she couldn't see why anyone would want her for anything but sex.

"No, I think my friend's not going to turn up." Constantine said unaccountably pleased she had returned. "Must be out saving someone's soul."

"I can't find Xander anywhere." Faith complained. "I hope he hasn't left. I hate it when people leave." she slurred, drunken tears filling her eyes.

"I'm going to the restroom, stay here." Constantine instructed her.

Queuing at the urinal, the condom vending machine seemed very prominent. Despising himself more every more moment, Constantine put coins in the vending machine's slot.

Faith was sitting weeping silently in her chair, when Constantine returned. A flash of pity for her came over him. He walked over to her and gently pulled her up to her feet.

"Is this your own private drunken crying jag, or can anyone join it." Constantine asked her.

He gathered her into his arms, amazed at the underlying strength in her slender body. Constantine let her sob on his shoulder until she calmed down. He felt the biggest heel in the world, knowing what would happen next, as surely as night follows day.

Faith looked up at him and kissed him hesitantly. Constantine felt the blood leaving his brain and running straight to his groin. He kissed her back ferociously. Constantine had wanted her the second he saw her.

He couldn't help himself, he really couldn't, the smell of her, the taste of her, was too much.

Faith was just as taken aback, by her own response to Constantine. She had never felt this kind of passion with Woods. The only man who had ever come close to making her feel this way was Wesley.

The two hapless victims of divine machinations, pulled at each others clothes. Then in a heart stopping moment, she was astride him and he was inside her.

"I don't want you to go after this." he muttered incoherently burying his face in her neck, sucking at what looked like a vampire bite scar.

"You'll end up leaving me." Faith said brokenly, moving back and forth.

Constantine released her neck, looking at the bruise he had left. "I'd never leave you Faith." he told her earnestly. His cynical brown eyes met Faith's too old too soon gaze. "Kid, I think you're wonderful." he told her, bunching her hair in his hands and kissing her tenderly.

Xander and Ellie looked in on them. Ellie pulled Xander away swiftly. Sometimes Ellie got weary of acting as Satan's whore.

Part two.

**June 2006.**

"What I don't get, is how we ended up married?" Faith said as she lay naked on the floor, with Constantine.

"I told you, I can't remember that part." He kissed her lovingly.

"Aren't you glad we did?" Constantine stroked her stomach. To his relief he'd been able to convince Faith he didn't give a shit about her stretchmarks, or anything else having twins had done to her body.

"Maybe I don't do it for you anymore." He joked, stroking her hair with the tenderness she always brought out in him.

"Oh you do it for me" Faith assured him, completely physically satisfied.

Part Three

June 2006

Faith stood in front of a group of slayers. The twins were in vision range, lying on a blanket at the back of the Watcher's council hall.

"Kick, kick, spin stake," She demonstrated to the latest five newbies. "Now you guys practise."

A short red headed man came into the back of the hall. He knelt down in front of the twins, looking at them, sniffing them.

Faith walked over puzzled, "Oz?"

Oz stood up. He had filled out, looked more muscular than before, grown a goatee beard. The way he was looking at her, seemed to indicate he was going to impart bad news.

"Hey Faith." He looked awkward. "I really need to talk, to you and your husband."

Three hours later Constantine sat on an armchair, his tie loosened, back from an exorcism. He nursed a beer. His gut told him whatever tidings this Californian werewolf brought, weren't going to be good.

"Woods saw me, when he came back to Paris, both he and his girlfriend think you smell related." Oz said with out preamble.

"Related?" Faith said puzzled.

"You smell closely related. Werewolves can tell if people are related by blood and you guys smell way too close." Oz explained forthrightly.

"How close?" Constantine asked immediately.

"Half brother and sister, father and daughter or uncle and niece, close" Oz said uncomfortably.

"That's impossible." Faith protested choking with fright. "I mean that's ridiculous."

"You never knew who your father was." Constantine pointed out to her in a reasonable tone.

"And he's what, your father, you?" Faith scoffed a note of panic in her voice.

"We can get blood tests." Constantine said calmly. "Your birth date is December 14 1980? You would have been conceived nine –ten months before that. So that's me out of the picture. I was in a mental asylum in Connecticut from February to May of that year. My dad wasn't the cheating type. He and my brother were in Hartford Connecticut anyway. Your Mom was teenage white trash, in South Boston Massachusetts right? Not a likely candidate to visit the Mark Twain House in Hartford."

"You don't seem as surprised, as I thought you'd be." Oz mentioned to Constantine, he kept looking between Faith and Constantine, noticing how similar they looked once you realised they must be related.

"Nothing surprises me." Constantine said jadedly. "It would explain a lot of things."

"Like what?" Faith asked angrily. She regarded her husband with wary surprise. 'I can't believe... you believe this shit."

"Our instant attraction to one other for one thing, it was bizarre. I've never truly loved any woman before, so why you now?" Constantine said ruthlessly. "You were acting like a drunken slut the night we met and I wanted to marry you? I've always thought that never made sense."

Oz looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. It was bad enough having to bring bad news, without watching the couple you gave it to, destroy each other because of it.

"Fuck you." Faith said stunned, utterly devastated by his cruelty. She had seen Constantine inflict the cruel truth on others before, but never her.

"Yeah, I believe you did kid." Constantine stopped himself and smiled coldly. "Perhaps I should come up with a new term of endearment?"

"Wouldn't Charles and Johanna be born mutants if we were related?" Faith pointed out to him. "They're totally healthy and beautiful children."

"Of course they're healthy." Constantine put his head in his hands in despair. "They're miracles remember?"

Part Three

Oz left and Faith looked at Constantine entreatingly. John felt like the onset of a blinding stress headache was building in him.

Constantine held out his arms to her. She looked blurry as Constantine's vision started to fail with his oncoming headache. Faith rushed into his outstretched arms and he held her fiercely.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." he whispered, as she started to shake with sobs.

"No Faith." He tried to stop her, as she started to kiss his neck feverishly and undo his belt. The left side of his head started to throb with pain. She ignored him and ripped his t-shirt off. For the first time in their marriage he felt threatened by her. He worked out with weights regularly, to hold his own with the possessed but she was much stronger than him.

He pushed her away, with all his strength. "I said stop it!" he yelled at her. "I have a headache," he pleaded in a normal voice

Faith looked like he had slapped her. She broke out of his grasp and ran blindly out the front door.

Constantine stumbled towards the bathroom, looking for his painkillers. He hadn't had a headache this bad since he'd been diagnosed with lung cancer.

While he was in the bathroom, his body decided it was a good time to throw up. Constantine dry heaved repeatedly in the toilet, wondering what the fuck he was going to do.

Constantine woke up from where he had collapsed on the bed. He looked at the time it was eleven o'clock. Christ he'd been asleep for eight hours. His mouth tasted disgusting, he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth.

Constantine looked at himself in the bathroom cabinet mirror; he never had liked the person he saw there. Tonight he particularly disliked that man.

Constantine went into the living room and saw Faith sitting on the couch. The TV and stereo were off, she was staring into space. They didn't say anything to each other. Constantine went to the kitchen cupboard and took out a bottle of water, gulping it down.

Constantine joined Faith on the couch.

"I don't know what to say." Constantine told her.

"Well let's start with that you think I'm disgusting, for wanting to have sex with you." Faith said coldly.

"Bullshit. I had a headache" Constantine said tiredly. "I know it was lousy timing on my part, seeing sex is your panacea for all emotional ills. But it was a bad headache."

"What's a panacea?" Faith asked him baffled.

"A medicine that cures all ills, it comes from Greek Mythology." Constantine explained patiently.

"Kinda like magical chicken soup huh?" Faith clarified.

"Yeah," Constantine nodded wearily. Faith's general knowledge had severe gaps, he normally just found that cute, she always was willing to learn. Tonight, it just seemed to accentuate how unlikely it made them as a couple.

"Are you saying I'm some kind of sex addict?" Faith asked defensively.

"No, don't put words in my mouth." Constantine said annoyed at her. He could tell she was presently having a fantasy about killing him. He knew she never would.

"Are the twins asleep?" he asked her in a normal tone.

"Yeah, put them down half an hour ago, they'll be out for two more hours." Faith said automatically.

"Good." said Constantine. He pushed her down on the couch and kissed her painfully. Biting her lips and pulling her hair. Faith dug her nails into his back in startled protest and he could feel her cutting skin, he scraped her flesh with his own nails and then roughly pulled off her jeans and panties.

Fortunately he never had had erection problems in his life. Probably through screwing Ellie a succubus so long, she'd beneficially hexed him in some way. Constantine took off his own trousers and shorts and penetrated Faith roughly. She was dry and unready for him and winced out in discomfort. He bit her neck hard, where she still had the scar from Angel's most recent biting of her. Constantine had always hated that scar, once he found out from Andrew, how she had come by it. Faith gasped with pain.

Constantine moved in and out of her uncaringly and came before she had a chance to.

"There." He told her impatiently, shaking her in fury as she lay on the couch. "Was that degrading enough for you? Do you feel validated now? Did I just convince I still love you?"

Faith looked up at him, curiously persuaded by his brutal assault that he did. "It's weird, but something about all this, just feels so right." she told him.

"We don't know we're definitely related yet." Constantine told her and himself. "There's no sin..."

"Shit, here we go..." Faith said crossly, flinging her head back angrily on the arm rest of the couch. "You wanna know why you really married me? You just thought it was better to marry than burn."

"Excuse me for not wanting to screw my sister." Constantine said frustrated at her. "Jesus, …you just don't get it, do you Faith?"

"No you don't get it Constantine." Pushing him off her, Faith hissed in a low tone, so she wouldn't wake the twins. "I just don't fucking care. So you're my brother, my uncle, my freakin father so what?"

She got up and pulled her jeans back on. "Were you around when my mother was passed out from a pill overdose and I had to dial 911 at eight years old? When the bitch missed my first holy communion because she passed out drunk, were you there when her boyfriend …?"

"Christ Faith, if I could fix your childhood I would." Constantine cut her off.

"I'm just saying you were never like family to me, so why act like it matters now?" Faith snapped at him.

"Because it just does. Because 'he' has got a sick sense of humour" Constantine told her coldly. "I'm not going down on a one way trip and neither are you. I'm not letting anything happen to you."

AN: I welcome any questions on this story.


	12. Chapter 12

Things ain't been the same AN:  
Genetic Sexual Attraction is an actual phenomenon that no one obviously likes to talk about. 

It is the overwhelming attraction often sexual, adults who are closely related but have never grown up together feel when they meet as adults. Nervous breakdowns have resulted.

Kind of the reverse of adopted children and their siblings who because they were brought up together as children feel no sexual attraction to one another as adults.

Look it up in wikipedia if you don't believe me.

Chapter 12: Things ain't been the same since the blues walked into town

June 2006.

John had his mouth swab done, for DNA testing. Faith was waiting for him in the lab's lobby when he came out.

"Your turn," he told her, taking a fussing Charles from her. Johanna was still fast asleep in the stroller.

Faith walked towards the elevator looking to the world as if she was going to her execution. The doors closed on her.

"You're getting heavy bud." Constantine told Charles, as he rocked his son soothingly. "Has Mom let your favourite rattle fall in the stroller huh? Is that what you want, little guy?"

He cuddled and rocked Charles till the baby fell asleep in his arms.

"John?" an astonished female American voice, said behind him. She'd recognise the white shirt and black tie anywhere, but in London with a baby?

Constantine looked up in surprise. "Christ, Angela?"

The psychic Los Angles police detective Constantine had helped save the world with, stood in front of him.

Angela Dodson was an attractive dark haired woman in her mid thirties. It was being unselfish enough to save her life and her sister's soul, which had gained a dying Constantine, his place in heaven.

Satan in a fit of pique had cured Constantine's lung cancer and mortal wounds. By putting John back on Earth, Satan was confident Constantine would put his immortal soul in peril again. Constantine had certainly lapsed back into smoking occasionally. Copulating with and conceiving children, with someone who might be his sister or niece, was probably pretty bad as well.

"What are you doing in London?" Angela asked. Her face softened, as she looked at the sleeping Charles in Constantine's arms.

"I married an Irish citizen who lives here. This is Charles and Sleeping Beauty over there, is Johanna." Constantine said proudly. The twins were getting cuter by the minute and had just started to smile three days ago. as little personalities in their own right the twins had grown on him.

"Twins, you're so lucky. I've always wanted kids." Angela smiled sadly.

"I bet you do." Constantine said figuring it out. Constantine had just started seeing Angela, when he met Faith in Las Vegas.

Angela was God's carrot. The replacement for Faith that God was going to offer him. It was a good offer, he and Angela could have really been something, but once he had met Faith…

"Pardon?" said Angela offended at his mean tone.

"Sorry, nothing personal." Constantine replied apologetically. "So why are you in London?"

"A professional development thing, it's been great." Angela smiled. "So you live in London now?"

"Yeah, North London," Constantine told her. "My wife's apartment, we're looking for a bigger place now, with the kids."

Angela did some quick maths in her head. "So when you ended it with me, you were seeing her already?"

"Yeah," Constantine lied, determined to make Angela dislike him. 'Suck on that God, I'm not settling for Job's number two wife.' "I'm a prick, didn't you know?"

"Does your wife?" Angela said hurt.

"She's starting to figure it out." Constantine confessed, putting Charles back in his pushchair.

Faith reemerged from the elevator. She walked over to John and Angela.

"Faith, this is Angela Dodson," Constantine explained. "I was just telling her, how we're in a hurry and have to go right away."

Angela looked hurt. Constantine hadn't caused that expression on a woman's face in over two years. Now he had caused it twice on two different women. Both of whom he gave a crap about, and in just a twenty four hour period, priceless.

"Who was that?" Faith asked on the way home. "Was that the Angela, you saved the world with?

"Yeah, interesting she shows up again now." Constantine said pushing the stroller. "I think she's meant to be your replacement."

"My replacement?" Faith thought over his words. "I'm real worried about the cat's safety right now."

"You should be." Constantine said. "We're not leaving the house from now on, not till we get the test results back. We're not leaving the kids unattended for a second."

"What happens when we get the results back?" Faith asked

"I don't know yet." Constantine admitted. "But I want to get a vasectomy as soon as possible."

"Where did that come from?" Faith said startled.

"I can't be blessed with a wonderful new family if I'm sterile, can I?" Constantine pointed out. "Two's enough for us, isn't it?"

"Suppose…"Faith said reluctantly, "I kinda wanted four."

"You're crazy." Constantine put his arm round her and hugged her.

When they got home, Ellie was outside their front door. The succubus was down on her knees, stroking Hellmouth on the tummy.

"Shit, get away from our cat Ellie." Constantine barked at her.

"You've got me all wrong John." Ellie laughed sexily. "You know how I love cats. The way they walk in both worlds."

Once inside Constantine put on a jazz CD and got cold drinks, while Faith put the twins on a blanket to change them.

"So why are you here?" Constantine asked Ellie, "If not to kill the cat?"

"I'm here to suck the life breath from Charles." Ellie announced, flopping on to their couch. "Satan's orders, God's command, off the record of course, but I'm not going to, because I just changed bosses this morning."

"Go on." Constantine said handing her a drink.

"Being told to kill your drooling, toothless, offspring was the last straw. I've just become a Vengeance Demon, interesting work and D'Hoffryn is a great boss. I have days off!" Ellie smiled sensuously.

"Thank you Ellie." Constantine said sincerely.

"I don't give a shit about the infant of course, but I do like you John." Ellie batted her eyelashes, "A kiss good bye?"

Faith pursed her lips together.

"Come on Faithie…" Ellie smiled maliciously, "I just saved your mewling brats life."

"Fine, but I don't have to see it." Faith picked up the twins and took them into their bedroom.

Ellie got up from the couch and walked over to John, her tail showing. "Have you missed me just a little?" she asked him.

"As a friend, yes," Constantine told her honestly.

Constantine bent down and kissed Ellie goodbye affectionately.

"I was a little in love with you Ellie." Constantine told her. "Enjoy being a Vengeance Demon."

"If I could have truly loved," Ellie said. "I think would have loved you a little too."

She left and Constantine walked back in the house. He found Faith in the twins' bedroom, having just put them down to sleep.

He picked her up and dragged her into their bedroom.

"Hey!" Protested Faith, "I know why you're horny Constantine." God damn succubi, they always had this effect on men.

Constantine took off her top. "Then you know I'm not letting you leave."

"What if I'm your sister?" Faith challenged him.

"I just don't fucking care." He said quoting Faith's words of the previous night back to her.

They both made love to each other slowly and carefully that afternoon, trying to make up for the hurt of the previous day.

"Why the turn around in attitude?" Faith asked him, as she lay in his arms.

"I am not going to be Job. Job was a righteous man, who had his family killed by Satan. Why? So God could reward him with a new one because Job kept kissing God's ass. It's utter bullshit."

Constantine kissed his wife's head. They thought he could prefer anyone over Faith?

"They orchestrated the whole thing. They made it into war when they tried to kill my child. I'm not putting you away and taking Angela as the upgrade."

Faith stiffened in his arms. Angela was an upgrade?

Constantine ignored her body language. "I'm getting both those assholes, if it's the last thing I do."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: So sad Mary... what you got goddamn shame about it**

Part One

July 2006

Giles, Dawn and J.C. sat in the Constantine's living room, wondering what Faith and John wanted them for.

John waited till the last of them arrived and had all got drinks.

"Alright," Constantine began, "Eight days ago, a werewolf friend of Faith's came to see us. He told us we smelled the same, as if we were genetically related."

"So we decided to take tests at a DNA lab, the results came back yesterday afternoon. It's a ninety nine percent chance that either I'm Faith's father, or my identical twin brother was."

Everyone looked shocked. Faith bit her lip wanting to go to John for comfort, but not wanting to see disgust on her friends' faces.

"But John can't be my father." Faith cried out to her friends, to the universe. "He was in a mental hospital, when I was conceived."

"So what we are asking for you to do." Constantine said evenly, to the three shocked people in front of him. "Is to go back in time, and find out who or what Faith's father is? Dawn you can create a portal, if Cousin John and Giles come up with the right time spell?"

"I've never done it before." Dawn said slowly. "But I could try."

"What do you hope to achieve by this?" Giles asked sympathetically. "If it's not you Constantine, it will be your brother."

"We just need to know." Faith told them hopefully. "What if it's a mistake, a coincidence?"

"Welcome to the family love, if it's not." J.C. said to her.

Part Two

Dawn looked once more at the photo of Faith's mother. The photo showed Kelly Lehane as a twenty year old mother, with a two year old Faith sitting on her lap. Faith's aunt Clare, Kelly Lehane's sister had sent it over on Faith's request. They weren't sure if the photo would travel through time.

Dawn was opening a portal in a field on the outskirts of London, to go to February the tenth 1980. That would give her, Giles and J.C. enough time to get to Boston and closely monitor Kelly's Lehane's movements till she conceived Faith.

They knew they couldn't influence the past in any way, so it was going to be tricky task.

J.C. would be twenty seven and Giles twenty six in 1980, and both had had a two month gap in their memories during that period. Apparently they had gone to the United States together, but didn't remember much about it. So they all had obviously done this time travelling spell before, somehow.

Dawn was wearing vintage clothes, hoping that they would make it through the time portal in one piece. It had been hard finding shoes.

Constantine and John chanted the time alteration spell, as Dawn opened the portal. John and Faith watched nervously but gratefully, as the three time travellers stepped through it.

Dawn walked out of the portal and into a sheep. She swore, the sheep baaed loudly in fright and dashed off. Dawn saw her clothes looked like they had become brand new, except for her 'vintage skirt' which had disappeared. This was problematic, seeing her panties had been from 2006.

She took off her jacket and wrapped it awkwardly around her waist. A young blonde man who looked like Sting, came towards her.

"Here Dawn love." He said handing her pulling off his woollen sweater. "Use this."

This made a kind of miniskirt, but at least it was decent. Dawn looked in amazement at the blonde man. The guy was a total hottie. "J.C." she stammered.

"Could you stop calling me that nickname? It's fucking annoying." J.C. complained.

"Sorry, it's the only way I can tell you and John apart." Dawn said sweetly and illogically, in a very Summers way. They both looked around for Giles and found him lying flat on his face on the ground, breathing heavily.

"Giles are you alright?" Dawn said worriedly.

"Right as rain," Giles puffed. "Bloody sheep just winded me."

"Wow, you're really good looking too." Dawn said approvingly.

"Thank you so much." Giles replied to his nineteen year old companion. "I feel so much more alive I must admit, sheep winding not withstanding."

"It's the testosterone mate, making the sap rise or somethink. Well let's get money sorted out." J.C. said, clapping his hands with glee. "We all remember the race scores, for tomorrow?"

"We need to go to our flats first, and give notice remember?" Giles reminded him. "I remember it was my short notice, that broke up my relationship."

Giles girlfriend did not take the news he was travelling to America well. "You're so bloody selfish Rupert!" The young woman screamed at him in front of Dawn and J.C. "When are you ever going to grow up and make a commitment?"

"Never Barbara," Giles yelled back at her. "You scare me off permanent relationships, for life!"

Giles grabbed his suit case and a box of possessions. Barbara was still yelling after him like a fishwife, as the time travellers walked down the street.

"Come on," Giles muttered to them. "Let's go to your place Constantine."

"Well there won't be issues there mate. I'm squatting see, so we can all doss down there, tonight." J.C. said carrying one of Giles boxes.

"I can just imagine the hell hole this will be. Tell me you weren't flatting with junkies?" Giles requested.

"I don't think so." J.C. said frowning trying to remember. "My flatmate Dean was a sorcerer."

Dawn put Giles box on the footpath, and pulled out a woman's velvet green skirt she had spotted and put it on in the street. It was tight and she had to leave the zip undone.

"It's my cousin's skirt," Giles said defensively at J.C.'s smirk. "She left it with me the previous weekend, when she came down to London and never forgave me for losing it. Brings it up every bloody Christmas."

It took a week before they had all the money (got through gambling on rote remembered horse races) and documentation they needed. Dawn got her passport, by using a dead girl's birth certificate.

It annoyed the hell out of Dawn on the aeroplane over the Atlantic, that even though she was in the non-smoking section, people's smoke (Giles had restarted smoking again like a train) filtered through into her part of the plane. The past was a different country indeed.

At last they disembarked in New York and took a train to Boston.

South Boston was like a mini Ireland in 1980. Dawn couldn't believe Boston was so segregated. Or the looks of disapproval she was getting from potential landlords, for being an unmarried girl intending to share a house with two men.

"Bitch obviously never watched enough episodes of 'Two's company'." J.C. commented, as an old Irish woman slammed the door in their faces.

Finally the three found the top floor of a decaying building, which was getting knocked down in three months. The Landlord let them have it on a week by week basis.

"What a freakin dump." complained Dawn, who had gone to stay at the London Y.W.C.A. the second she had seen J.C.'s squat. "It doesn't even have a dishwasher!"

"Dear lord, the poverty." Giles laughed and J.C. joined in. The two men found Dawn's reactions to working class 1980 life highly amusing.

"see here Dawn, this 'dump' has power, running water and we can take it in turns to spy on Kelly Lehane." Giles pointed out to a revolted Dawn. "We have a good view of her house in the next street."

"Well when can we start betting in America?" Dawn asked Giles. "I want an electric blanket."

"They haven't been invented yet, sorry Dawn." J.C. said sympathetically. He frowned as he spooted a mouse hole in the corner of the room.

"What you're kidding!" Dawn said anxiously.

"Yes," Laughed J.C. at her. He just loved winding her up. "God, the look on your face love, priceless."

"You are so freakin annoying." Dawn said angrily to him. His constant teasing was really starting to bug her.

"Oh do give it a rest you two!" said Giles sternly. Dawn and J.C.'s bickering reminded him uncomfortably of Buffy and Spike. Whom the younger J.C. rather resembled, you just needed to substitute the olive trenchcoat for the leather duster.

"We can't waste our money on electric blankets" Giles pointed out "We need to get bugging devices."

And so began the surveillance of the Lehane's house. A nice Irish immigrant family, whose peace was constantly shattered by the constant fights with their eldest daughter Kelly.

Kelly worked in a record shop. The three observing her saw Kelly have sex with her boyfriend Brian, in the backseat of his car, every lunch break that first week.

Then on Friday night, Kelly went to a bar and slept with his best friend Kevin. This drunken sexual encounter took place in the back of Kevin's panel van.

"Gets around, doesn't she." J.C. observed as he stood in the bar car park with Giles, observing the van shake rhythmically.

"This makes me feel very sordid." Giles commented uncomfortably. "Game of darts?"

Dawn trailed her the next day. Dawn saw Kelly stop into church, for a quick confession on the way to work. Dawn realised it was difficult to loiter in church so she sat on a bench and pretended to be praying. She noticed Kelly come out of the confessional booth looking furious. Faith did not look much like her mother. Dawn decided, but that look of being pissed off was obviously a Lehane trait.

That Saturday night Kelly stayed in and played cards with her family.

"Guilt," J.C. commented sagely.

The next week Kelly didn't have sex with Brian in his car. All Kelly's spare time was spent on the phone to her friend Anna, planning a trip to New York. They both intended to go to a Clash concert on the Friday night, at the Palladium.

"This is it folks." J.C. said. "If she was ever going to meet a Constantine, it will be on a trip to New York."

"It will be a fantastic opportunity, to see The Clash play live again too." Giles said looking excited.

"Oh pleeze!" Dawn scoffed. "Aren't they punk?'

"Bite your tongue girl!" J.C. said horrified and proceeded to give her a lecture, on why the Clash weren't a true punk band.

"I get it." Dawn said finally. "It's because their band was successful, unlike your band Mucous Membrane. Well with a disgusting name like that, what did you expect?"

"We're going to have to queue closely behind Kelly and her friend, because the seats sold out in ninety minutes if I remember" Giles said.

"How do you know this stuff?" Dawn said in utter disbelief.

"Obviously a misspent life" Giles said offended.

So the trio followed Kelly and Anna's plan down to the letter. They caught the same trains as them to New York, booked into the same cheap motel and followed them into the same bar.

The 3,800 seater Palladium on New York's 14th Street was an old converted theatre, Drug pushers were plying their trade outside and J.C. scored some weed.

"Oh god, must you always?" Giles complained.

"It's not as if it is smack." J.C. said defensively. "It's for after. We might all feel like it. Have a go at Dawn, must she always look like a bloody Sloan Ranger?"

"Huh?" Dawn said puzzled.

"You look too preppy Dawn." Giles translated. "You stand out."

"Well there was no money for clothes shopping remember?" Dawn said annoyed.

"Just buy her a t-shirt from that vendor." J.C. suggested. "Not the one that says 'in case of Rape this way up'."

"Did I mention 1980 just sucks?" Dawn said furious.

At last with a black t-shirt bearing the legend 'Virgin' and more eyeliner applied round her eyes, at J.C. and Giles urging. Dawn was considered suitably attired to attend the concert with them.

They took their seats, near enough to see Kelly and her friend talking to a group of youths.

"I hope she's not going to get gang raped." Dawn said worried. "I don't think I can take my detachment that far."

"Oh shit." J.C. said. "Check out the kid with the long black hair, it's John's twin brother James. Look at the blonde kid's letterman jacket, Hartford West High."

"Look at the blonde kid's tail!" Dawn said startled. She shifted umcomfortably in her seat.

Giles frowned. "Yes, probably urging them on to drink, do drugs, lose their virginity."

"So I didn't notice a demon with a tail whispering in your ear, when you brought that marijuana." Dawn said sniffily to J.C.

"Have you never done drugs?" J.C. said irritated at her. He lit a cigarette.

"It's unhealthy." Dawn said primly. "But occasionally in Italy, I partake of pot."

"You are just so Californian." J.C. said amazed. "Getting stoned would loosen you up."

"Along with a good lay, I suppose?" Dawn retorted.

J.C. laughed rudely, "Well I don't know if my charity extends that far, to the ice key."

The concert started, J.C. and Giles were swept up in it, only Dawn kept a close watch on Kelly. Dawn had to admit it was an amazing concert; she had never been to anything like it before.

A cloud of marijuana and cigarette smoke lay heavily over the audience and Dawn watched as Kelly began to make out with James.

Dawn bit her knuckles in despair. Giles and J.C. were singing along to 'London Calling'.

Kelly and James broke from kissing to join in the chorus. The whole theatre was vibrating with the noise.

Dawn was starting to feel like a pervert, watching Kelly and James petting getting heavier.

J.C. whispered in her ear so she jumped, "Turning you on love?"

Dawn slapped him on the shoulder. "You freakin watch them for a change!"

The concert ended and the three split up in their efforts to track Kelly and James down in the dispersing crowd.

Dawn wondered if it was such a good idea her splitting away from Giles and J.C., there were some very tough types in the crowd.

She wished mobile phones had been invented, how was she going to keep track of the other two?

To her relief she spotted Giles and J.C. again, still successfully trailing Kelly and James. She rejoined them quickly.

Anna, Kelly and James went back to their hotel room and the time travelling trio went back to theirs.

"Well, what now?" Dawn said baffled. "Do we listen against the wall with a glass?"

"I brought a stethoscope." Giles said, "But I don't think it's worth the bother."

"The walls are thin," J.C. pointed out, "Joint time?"

The three sat and passed round a joint. They noted the banging of a bed against the adjoining wall.

"Lucky bastard's shagging both of them." J.C. commented. "Do you two feel inspired to copy their example? What happens on tour stays on tour eh?"

"You are so freakin disgusting." Dawn sneered at J.C.

J.C. laughed. "It's so easy to pull your leg."

"Just don't tell Buffy." Giles said referring to the joint he was passing to Dawn.

"It's bloody frustrating though, innit?" J.C. went on taking the joint from Dawn. "Watching that lovely Irish Rose, bonk for the last bloody fortnight and not getting a shag ourselves."

"Kelly is lovely." Giles commented. "You can see Faith in her, the way she laughs and smiles."

"Don't tell me you fancy the Dark Slayer?" J.C. spluttered, drinking out of his whiskey flask.

"She's become a friend that's all." Giles said drinking his beer..

"Ripper has a crush, I'll be damned." J.C. laughed. "I was just joking mate." He said quickly at Giles exasperated expression.

Dawn snatched J.C.'s whiskey flask from him, and took a swig. J.C. glanced startled at her and raised an eyebrow, seeking an explanation.

"It is so I can be numbed, to your bloody, fucking, stupid, bollocks!" Dawn explained tersely, using the words J.C had been using continuously the last three weeks.

Part Three.

Dawn, J.C. and Giles emerged back in the field in 2006 to Faith and John, only half an hour after they left.

"Who was it?" Faith asked immediately.

"James Constantine." Giles said sadly. "He and your mother met in New York at a concert. I'm sorry Faith."

Constantine nodded. It was what he'd been expecting. "So I'm her uncle." he said to himself out loud, "Knew I wasn't her Dad."

"Well what now?" Faith said in anguish. "I guess I was just hoping… that it was just a big mistake."

"I need to talk to an Archangel." Constantine said. "Michael still hangs out in St Paul's cathedral?"

"Last I heard." J.C. confirmed.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: You've got that shotgun shine

Part One

Giles and J.C. sat in the front seat of Giles car, while Dawn sat in the back.

"Leviticus?" Dawn repeated amazed. "You can't marry anyone else in your family, but Leviticus in the Old Testament, said an Uncle and Niece can marry?"

"Yeah, luckily for John and Faith, not a mortal sin in their theology, just illegal in all Western Countries. In fact in the U.K. it's perfectly legal for them as adults to have sex with each other, just not get married," J.C. twisted around and told Dawn. "We'll keep our traps shut about it right?"

"It's still creepy." Dawn said frowning, thinking it over. "Anyway, werewolves and other demons are going to know they're related, when they're in the same room as them. The word's going to get out."

"I'm inclined to agree with you Dawn, the truth always comes out." Giles checked his rear view mirror and saw Constantine and Faith behind him, in their car arguing.

"J.C." asked Dawn curiously, leaning forward on the seat. "Just how the hell do you know, about all these weird incest laws, I mean?"

"John told me of his suspicions last week. He's planning to fight God. He needed my help." J.C. said, taking out a packet of cigarettes. "Bout time he stood up for himself, only way to deal with the bugger."

Part Two

Constantine walked up the steps of St Paul's Cathedral impatiently. It was an uphill battle, trying to push past the crowds of tourists, leisurely taking photos.

Constantine literally bumped into Angela. She was taking a picture of the skyline.

Constantine caught her, so she didn't fall backwards and rebalanced her.

Angela looked pleased to see him, in an LAPD kind of way. "I have to ask you something Constantine."

"Kind of in a hurry Angela," Constantine told her, beginning to move away from her.

Angela pushed past people as callously as him, in her effort to keep alongside Constantine.

"Constantine, because you saved my life and my soul I want to tell you something." Angela Dodson told him forthrightly, managing to get ahead of him and block his path.

"Your beautiful young wife is a double murderer. Faith escaped from a maximum security prison in California in March 2003. She'd only served two years of her sentence." Angela announced, watching her ex-lover intently, to gauge his reaction.

"Christ," Constantine pushed Angela impatiently out of his way. "That case is closed Angela."

Angela strode after him. "You know what she did? Do you also know why she got that pardon? A pardon the new State Governor does not think she should have received, by the way." 

"She saves the world occasionally." Constantine told Angela shortly. "She's a vampire slayer. She's more useful to humanity out of prison, than in it."

"Why did you prefer a double murderer to me?" Angela asked him earnestly, blocking his path again. "I'd really like to know John."

Constantine sighed with impatience. He couldn't say, 'Because Faith is my niece and we were victims of 'Genetic Sexual Attraction', even though it was the truth.

"As you said, she's beautiful, she's young. Please move." Constantine requested of his former lover in a bored tone.

Angela stepped aside coldly. "Your wife's case isn't going away John. There are people back home interested, as to why she walked free."

Constantine entered the cathedral and walked to the information desk. The Archangel Michael was behind it, with a human co-worker.

"Excuse me ducks." Michael said to his co-worker quickly. The archangel appeared as an effeminate young man to the casual observer, "Personal business."

Constantine and Michel walked outside in silence, till they reached the church yard cemetery.

Constantine sat on a gravestone and lit a cigarette.

"No one gets their lung cancer cured twice, lovie." Michael commented. "Don't even bother trying Lourdes, in twenty years time."

"It's been a stressful ten days." Constantine said inhaling smoke. "What with my wife and I worried we were possibly father and daughter."

"That would be a mortal sin." Michael said pleasantly. "You would never have been deliberately encouraged to mortally sin."

"And uncle and niece relationships are just dandy?" Constantine inquired sardonically.

"Upstairs got bored dictating Leviticus, left out a sentence, but it has proved useful in the past, and now the present." Michael smiled innocently.

"So what is the point, why all the machinations, to get Faith and I together?" Constantine asked reaching his left hand in his pocket.

"'He' works in mysterious ways." Michael smirked. "But rest assured, there is a beautiful plan for you at the end of it. By the way, please stop being cruel, to poor Angela."

Constantine stubbed his cigarette out on the tombstone angrily, "I don't want Angela. I want Faith."

Constantine shot out his arm and grabbed Michael by his jacket with his right hand. His left hand had a syringe and he pointed it over Michael's jugular vein.

"This syringe contains sulphur, which I know angels don't like." Constantine told Michael nastily. "Tell your boss to stay the fuck out of my family's life."

Part Three

Faith could hear the sound of wings beating behind her, as she pulled her wet laundry out of the washing machine. She was in the basement of the Watchers Council Headquarters.

The twins were being baby sat by Rona in her flat.

Faith turned around and looked at Chas standing in front of her. She recognised him from a collection of photos, in a box Constantine had.

"Kinda busy," Faith told Chas. 'If you want to talk to me, you can do a miracle and dry my clothes."

Chas blew a puff of controlled angelic breath on Faith's laundry basket. The clothes looked like they'd just come out of the dryer.

"Wicked! Okay, you have five minutes of my time." Faith told him. "Yap your halo off."

"Why are you putting both your immortal souls at risk?" Chas asked her curiously.

"Um, I'm not." Faith said defensively, proceeding to fold the clothes. "According to the Holy book, it's perfectly okay to screw my Uncle. Who'da guessed, huh?"

"Look at the sins you've committed, these past ten days Faith. You were willing to make love to Constantine, no matter who he was." Chas reminded her. "You're obsessed with him, you don't love him."

"I do love him!" Faith said indignantly. "I love John more than anyone."

"Then let him go. If you are capable of unselfish love, let him go." Chas advised her. "He needs to be with Angela, not you. She's his destiny. You're just some passing freak show in his life."

Faith picked up her box of washing powder and flung it at Chas in anger. It exploded against his stomach.

Chas looked down at the powdery granules floating in the air, in sorrow. "Faith, I want what's best for Constantine and for you." Chas went on in honeyed tones. "He's going to imperil his soul again to stay with you. He'll just end up hating you. You can still save your soul Faith, make a sacrifice."

"Is there an intermission in all of your crap?" Faith said with bravado, picking up her laundry and proceeding to walk up the stairs.

Chas followed her up the stairs, wings flapping gently, enabling him to hover. "You were willing to risk your soul, because you've known all along you're still destined for the fiery pit. Prison wasn't true repentance for you. You just couldn't cope with the murderer you'd become."

"I've never dispatched an angel before." She threatened, unlatching the basement door. "But it's probably achievable, right? I'm a slayer, so I can slay anything, even a feathered piece of shit like you."

Faith looked at Chas in hatred and walked away across the Watchers Council Courtyard to her flat. Chas followed her every step of the way. The grass bloomed under his passing.

"You're trying to be good Faith?" Chas observed sympathetically. "The twins scream, and you imagine yourself shaking them hard, to get them to stop. That's why you listen to your music loud on your head phones, when Constantine is away, so you won't hear them scream, so you won't hit them, like your mother hit you."

"And I haven't!" Faith cried out in protest, reaching her flat door and unlocking it with shaking hands.

"Not yet." Chas told her shaking his head. "I'm worried, it's might be just a matter of time with you. Now, Angela would be a really good mother. She'd love your children like her own."

Faith unlocked her door finally and stumbled in, dropping her laundry down.

She turned angrily to face her tormentor and saw Constantine behind Chas.

"Is this angel bothering you Faith?" Constantine drawled to her.

"He was going, his five minutes is now up." Faith breathed heavily. "Remember." She sneered at Chas, "I've dealt with a lot worse than a divine canary."

Chas looked at Constantine with pity and flew upwards.

Faith sat outside their flat on the ground, and held out her hand for a packet of cigarettes.

"Wow," she said shaking her head, putting the cigarette to her lips, with trembling fingers, "Knew which of my buttons to push, better than The First Evil."

Constantine sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. "More bad news kid, apparently some high ups in California, aren't happy with your pardon."

"Awesome," said Faith sarcastically. "As if life isn't bad enough already, for us right now."

"We have each other." Constantine said dryly, taking a cigarette from her, "And potential emphysema to look forward to, in twenty years time."

"John, do you think we'll still love each other in twenty years time?" Faith asked him seriously.

"If we are both still alive, yeah," Constantine told her surprised. "Jesus, I know the reason behind our attraction is twisted, but its never going to go away Faith. We'll always love each other."

AN: Leviticus, it blew my mind when I did research for this story, what an oversight huh?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Well you do, so make up your mind to go on, 'cos when you woke up this morning everything you had was gone.

Part One:

Constantine gazed down on Faith, as she lay beneath him panting. His hands held her wrists, her arms spread above her on the bed. He moved forward with his hips again and caused her to gasp. Constantine noticed she was crying, it made him pause, confused.

"Kid, what's the matter?" he asked her concerned. He hated seeing her cry.

"I can't do this anymore John." Faith whispered to him. "It's so sick."

Constantine stopped and withdrew from her reluctantly. He released her wrists and lay back beside her on the bed.

"I thought you didn't care?" he said to her. "That's what you said before."

"The wrongness of this, is growing on me." Faith wept, "You know when I was a girl, a couple of miles outside of Boston, there was this quarry. And all the kids used to swim there and jump off the rocks. And there was this one rock forty feet up. I was the only one that would jump off it. All the older kids were too scared."

"Yeah, you had a death wish even as a kid. No surprise to me." Constantine told her. He held her in his arms comfortingly.

"I don't want to jump off the high rock anymore John." Faith explained to the only male apart from Angel, she had ever truly trusted. "Everyone is gonna find out you're my uncle, that I murdered two people. I can't live with it."

"What are you saying Faith?" Constantine said frightened for her. "You're not thinking of…"

"No, I'd never kill myself. What would that do to the kids when they grew up? Mommy didn't love them enough to stick around." Faith shook her head. "I'm destined for Hell anyways, why hurry the journey huh?"

"You're not going to Hell, you're a good person." He told her fiercely.

"John, I honestly don't think I can be here. The shit is going to hit the fan soon." Faith told him terrified. "I can't deal with deportation, going back to prison. The media attention, What if they find out we're related?"

"There's no way anyone would find that out. I trust Giles, J.C. and Dawn they'll keep their mouths shut." Constantine assured her. "I love you. I'll look after you."

"Oh baby, you can't, not for this." Faith leaned into him, resting her head against his chest. "I'm so screwed John."

Part Two:

Constantine came home tired, after a frustrating day trying to track down the Powers That Be. There were news crews and journalists, waiting outside the Watchers Council building.

They rushed towards him. "John Constantine, do you know your wife is a wanted fugitive in California?"

"No comment!" John said brusquely, pushing them out of the way. He went inside the courtyard and ran to his and Faith's living quarters. The flat was deserted. Faith and their twins were gone.

Hellmouth jumped down off the couch, and mewed plaintively round his legs.

Constantine noticed an envelope with his name on it, on the table. He ripped it open, read the letter enclosed and threw it on the floor in disgust.

How could Faith have been so stupid?

Part Three:

The courtyard in the palace bustled with activity. It was market day and the palace square was filled with the town's populace and livestock.

No one really paid any attention to the human male and female, who entered the gates. The man was carrying a metal cage, with a howling animal inside. The human male was oddly garbed, and had an off worlder look about him. He walked up to another human. The young human female trailed behind him.

"I'm looking for my wife." The man said without preamble. "She's a slayer named Faith."

Faith came back from the dragon slaying, exhausted. As a champion, her strength on Pylea was increased. But a dragon was always a tough bastard to fight. Faith was looking forward to seeing the twins, and having a hot bath. It had been hard to ride her horse properly, she was so weary.

Faith went up to her rooms and flung off her armour, sinking into the hot bath provided for her. Faith scrubbed the dragon blood off her arms and applied a soothing salve to her burns.

Refreshed, she got out of the bath and put on a purple gown. She went into the twins' room. Their wet nurse was playing with them. Faith went over and hugged and kissed her babies.

"They need you in the throne room, my lady." The wet nurse told her. "A human male arrived looking for you, today."

"Damn,' said Faith disappointed. She had been so looking forward to spending some time with her children. "Alright I'll be back soon I hope, probably another stupid quest."

Faith hurried down the stairs. She walked quickly down the passage, hitching up her skirts. Long dresses were a pain in the ass, but expected in court. She couldn't be bothered with the belly dancer look, in such a draught ridden building. Faith thought her Morgan Le Fay look was the warmest solution.

The guards stood to attention and held the door open for her. Faith strolled in casually.

She saw immediately the magnificent Groosalugg on his throne, with his heavily pregnant princess beside him. Lorne was sitting on a chair in front of them making Cordelia laugh.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Faith asked cheerfully.

Constantine stepped forward from the shadows. He looked the same as ever and he was looking pissed off.

Faith's mouth fell open in shock. She had never expected him to follow her here. Faith had been sure leaving John had been the best thing to do, for both their sakes.

"Hello Faith, mind telling me, why you walked out on me without a goodbye and took my children with you?" Constantine asked her coldly.

"I left a note." Faith defended herself. She noticed Dawn, stepping forth from the shadows as well. She was holding a cat cage, containing a meowing Hellmouth. Well that explained how Constantine got here.

"Yeah, I have that note here. Let me read it out to their highnesses. Let me share it with everyone." Constantine said in his distinctive monotone, digging in his trench coat pocket and pulling it out. It was crumpled, as if he'd screwed it in to a ball and then smoothed it out again.

Constantine held the note in his hands, and proceeded to read it out loud. "Dear John, I am only going to bring you grief, and drag you down into Hell with me. I'm leaving you and taking the kids. They won't have to live with the shame of knowing their parents were uncle and niece. This is for the best John. I know you'll find happiness in God's plan for you. Please forgive me, all my love Faith."

"Uncle and niece?" Cordelia said considering. "A world of yuck, but you guys didn't know right?"

"Not till two months ago." Constantine told the Princess of Pylea. "We'd been together almost a year by then."

"Faith is your brother's child," Said Groo, to Constantine in understanding.

'Yes." Said Constantine triumphantly, "and that doesn't matter on Pylea does it?"

"No," said Groo, "It is common among us. If you'd married your sisters daughter, well that is disgusting of course."

"Huh?" said Faith and Cordelia simultaneously.

"We're a matriarchal society sweet cheeks'. Lorne told the princess and the slayer. "Only the mother's line counts. If you marry into your father's side of the family, it's just considered a good way to bond clans."

"Which if you ever read a damned book," Constantine said in frigid tones to to Faith. "You might have realised. Instead you write me this bullshit note."

"I, you were meant to be with Angela." Faith protested strongly. She'd sacrificed her happiness for his soul. Didn't he get that?

"I love you!" Constantine shouted at her. "I don't want any one else, even if I can't ever have you!"

"You say that now." Faith said anguished. "But you'll grow to hate me."

"I could never, ever hate you Faith." Constantine told her wearily. He obviously had never managed to convince her of that fact. "But I am so fucked off at you right now, for taking the kids with out telling me."

Groo nodded approvingly. "So you have come to this dimension to claim your wife."

"Faith left me, she obviously doesn't want to be with me anymore," Constantine said coldly. "I've come to this dimension to live permanently. Even if I have to live in a hovel by the woods, to see my children grow up."

"What about going to Hell?" Faith reminded him. He was willing to live in a hovel, he really did love the children not just her?

"Yeah, sign this." Constantine brought out an official looking document. "I've arranged with The Powers That Be to switch us over to the gods here. Just sign on the dotted line kid. There's no heaven and hell, just reincarnation in this Hell dimension."

"It's why charities are so hard to run here." Lorne explained to Dawn. "Everyone thinks you deserved it, to be born handicapped in any way."

"It's epic." Groo said approvingly, to Cordelia, referring to Constantine tracking down Faith. "Think how I crossed dimensions for you, my love, and how you returned, to be with me."

Cordelia smiled guiltily, not wanting to ever tell Groo the truth, about her return to Pylea. The Powers That Be had told her she had two choices to be Pylea's princess, or become an angel again. Cordelia sucked at being an angel.

Cordelia had taken a one way trip. The few visitors that travelled in between the planes, could never remember they had seen Cordelia in Pylea.

Faith signed the document and felt a divine shiver go through her body. Her soul had jumped religions, she had just felt it. She didn't know how Constantine had done it. Constantine had freed them both, from being pawns anymore in God and Satan's eternal chess game.

"How's the Watchers Council?" she asked Dawn manically, not prepared to look Constantine in the eye. "I hope the news crews, didn't cause people trouble."

"Making everyone think you ran away to Africa," Dawn told her. "Oh, and they found some ghouls last Thursday, near Wembley, same old, same old."

"Aren't you going to run into your husbands arms?" Groo said sternly, to Faith. The ruler couldn't believe Faith was hesitating. "He just saved your soul."

"I don't know if he really loves me, or is doing it out of family obligation." Faith said doubtfully. 

"Sing then." The Groosalugg commanded Constantine imperiously. "Krevlornswath will interpret your motives for Faith."

"Can she go first?" Constantine requested. "If I really repel her I don't want to…"

"Fair," Said The Groosalugg, "Alright slayer. It is a royal command, sing."

Faith supposed this was the downside, of living in a medieval society. She cleared her throat. The only song she could think of off hand was Rob Zombies 'living dead girl'. It was her favourite song to dance to, and she could only remember the last part. Faith cleared her throat, checking there was no one in the throne room except themselves and began.

"Crawl on me  
Sink into me  
Die for me  
Living Dead Girl

Blood on her skin  
Dripping with Sin  
Do it again  
Living Dead Girl"

Faith stopped embarrassed. "Do I have to go on?"

Groo looked startled. Cordelia and Constantine were just nodding to themselves, at her song choice. It was so Faith.

Lorne had tears in his eyes, but a happy smile. He looked at Constantine. "Your turn hon." He gushed.

Constantine tried desperately to think of a single song he could remember word for word, hold on yes! It was a Leonard Cohen song. He sometimes sang it to the twins as a lullaby.

"I bet it's Leonard Cohen." Faith muttered under her breath. She could read Constantine like a book by now.

Constantine heard her and thought furiously again. Right. Like his wife, he could only remember the chorus.

"Isn't this, one of the songs you listened to kid? As part of your background music to train Slayerettes," Constantine mumbled to Faith, hideously embarassed.

"It kind of imprinted on me, the one hundredth time you played it!" he accused her. Constantine cleared his throat, wondering if his cheeks were flushing with embarrassment Jesus, he hadn't blushed since he was a teenager.

"Cause it makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
It makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter  
Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter"

Constantine noted that the ground had not opened and swallowed him up. Dawn looked like she was trying not to laugh. He should have gone with Billy Joel.

Lorne applauded him. "Good try with the contemporary, Constantine. Oh would you two love birds just suck face already." Lorne laughed delightedly, to Faith and Constantine. "You both are completely in love with each other."

Lorne turned to Constantine shaking his head beaming. "Faith only came to Pylea, because she mistakenly thought you'd be better off without her Constantine."

Lorne addressed a nervous Faith. "Sweetie you can relax, this man loves you with a passion I see rarely. Neither of you could ever stop loving one another."

Faith and Constantine fell into each others arms, kissing each other frantically. The month they had been apart, had seemed an eternity to both of them. Faith and Constantine could never be apart if they wanted too. They couldn't help themselves, there was never going to be anyone for them but each other. It didn't matter that they were uncle and niece. Even if they had found out they were father and daughter they could not have stopped themselves loving one another.

At last they parted. "Where are the kids?" Constantine asked her. "I want to see them. You left Charles favourite rattle behind."

Faith looked at Groo and Cordelia for permission to leave, and the rulers nodded.

Faith and Constantine left the throne room, hand in hand. Faith looked happier, than Groo or Cordelia had ever seen her before.

"Don't ever pull a stunt like that again." Constantine told Faith firmly, as they walked out the doors.

Cordelia pulled a face. "Well," she said to the remaining inhabitants of the throne room. "It might be a happy ending by Pylea standards, but I still think it's kind of yuck." 

THE END.


End file.
